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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old 02-16-03, 08:43 AM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Raynham, MA United States
Age: 42
Posts: 2,065
You might be a cop if..............

Found this on, thought it was pretty good.

You have the bladder capacity of five people

You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience

You believe that 25% of people are a waste of protoplasm

Your idea of a good time is a robbery at shift change

You call for a records check on anyone that is friendly toward you

You think it is perfectly normal to discuss dismemberment over a gourmet meal

You can identify a negative "tattoo to tooth" ratio just by looking at a person

You correlate "two beers" with 0.15 BAC

You find humor in other people's stupidity

You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac

You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see

You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance

You believe that a "shallow gene pool" should be grounds for an arrest

You believe that the Government should require a permit to reproduce

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, it sure is

quiet around here"

You refer to your nightstick as your "Dork Slayer"

You believe that chocolate is a food group

You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a prick

You have wanted to hold a seminar on "Suicide, getting it right the first time"

You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a valid jury verdict

You have had to put a complainant on hold, while you laugh uncontrollably

You have wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to a particular bar

You believe the dispatcher is possessed

You think caffeine should be available in I.V. form

You're not referring to food when you mention vegetables

You believe that the holding cell should come with a Valium saltlick

You have heard: "I have no idea how that got there," on more than a few occasions

You suddenly realize one night that you are patrolling the Twilight Zone

You have learned a lot about paranoia, simply by following random cars around in

your patrol car

You believe that it is a "good" death only if it involves overtime

you have to check to make sure your weapon is "ready to rock n' roll" before using a public restroom

you read your wife the Miranda warning whenever she says "we need to talk"

you can tell the severity of an accident just by hearing the sirens

you have co-workers that pay more in child support and alimony every month than you make in a year

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