10 commandments of marriage
Hope this isnt a repost...
The Ten Commandments of Marriage
Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so are thunder and
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
Marriage is grand - and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Married life can be very frustrating:
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts
when they try to decide which one.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something his wife said.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before she finishes.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical,
and a good cook.
Unfortunately, the law allows only one wife.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry; that is why a wife
treats her husband like toxic waste.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Bonus Marriage Story:
A long-married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish, and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish, too.
But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment, then smiled, "It works! It really
Do I really have to write something funny in here?
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