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Old 04-28-2004, 07:41   #1 (permalink)
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10 most stupid questions?

People usually ask obvious situations and some equally stupid answers for those:

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...

Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on
your feet...


Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try
again?

3. At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...

Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer Butter Masala" dish good?
Answer: No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We
occasionally also spit on it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after
years.

Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...

Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying well?
Answer: No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's
just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...

Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa
marry or not. And you thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...

Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding.

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...

Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: No it won't. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...

Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke.
Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle ...it was a piece of chalk and now it's
in flames!
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Old 04-28-2004, 08:28   #2 (permalink)
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Re: 10 most stupid questions?

Or one time when we took a couple of goats down to a local show, some woman came up to us and asked "Do they eat rabbits?"
I'm like WTF????
she says, "You know, goats eat everything, I was wondering if they'd eat the rabbits in my garden."


So I had to come up with a polite way to tell her, no, they're RUMINANTS, that means they're VEG-E-TARIAN, so NO THEY DON'T EAT BLOODY RABBITS, OK??!?!?!?!?!
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Old 04-28-2004, 09:09   #3 (permalink)
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Re: 10 most stupid questions?

Doing arvos i get woken up quite often by the phone ringing and when they ask
"did i wake you up"
i say
no, the phone did...
Stupid, the ammount of times they pause after i say that.. No point to it really....
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Old 04-28-2004, 17:47   #4 (permalink)
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Re: 10 most stupid questions?

"Why is Ford better than Holden?" - nuff said.

Actually...just jumping off topic for a second here (only a second...stay with me here) What really bugs me is when you answer a phone and the person says "Hi, its me! (pause)" then optionally "fred" (or whatever the name is)

Now...there are a couple of things wrong with that statement.
If I didn't know that voice, the word "me" is not going to help me out. If I did know the voice, then why did they think I needed the word 'me'
Is 'me' confirmation somehow?

I've had conversations before where I didn't know who 'me' was and didn't recognise the voice, so I played along with it because they obviously thought I knew who 'me' was and I didnt want to insult them.

Then the optional word, their name. If they knew that they were going to say their name anyway, why didnt they just say "Hi its fred" in the first place?

phew. Glad thats off my chest.

(back to topic)
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Old 04-28-2004, 17:55   #5 (permalink)
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Re: 10 most stupid questions?

Quote:
Originally Posted by blueraven

I've had conversations before where I didn't know who 'me' was and didn't recognise the voice, so I played along with it because they obviously thought I knew who 'me' was and I didnt want to insult them.
And those conversations always end with well dont forget see you the usual place, you know when, well got to run .... bye.

Then you think who the hell was that, and meet where on what day.
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Old 04-28-2004, 18:01   #6 (permalink)
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Re: 10 most stupid questions?

Yes unfortunately some people have been gifted with a remarkable flair for stating the obvious!
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Old 04-28-2004, 20:00   #7 (permalink)
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Re: 10 most stupid questions?

For some reason when people visit the Ford Discovery Centre, 7 out of 10 of them when being given the short rundown on what they can see, that there are 2 levels and there is no particular place to start or finish etc etc will ask "Where do I start?" This is after walking up the stairs, entering and seeing a reception desk in front of them, a giftshop on their right and a couple of cars on their left. Sometimes you feel like saying "Look left... look right... look behind you... now look IN FRONT of you... where do you THINK you start?"

I have been known to reply "You just follow your nose, and as long as it isn't bent, you'll end up back here" But I knew that person and they knew I was joking so it was ok.

Another thing that used to make me mad was when I washed cars at my fathers car yard to earn money while at uni. I would was 60 cars, 3 times a week and each time someone would come up to me and say "You can do mine next if you want" I swear sometimes I wanted to wrap the hose around their neck! I did have a clean car myself all the time tho, one extra in the line didn't hurt
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Old 04-28-2004, 23:29   #8 (permalink)
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Re: 10 most stupid questions?

These seem quite like the "Snappy answers to stupid questions" MAD Magazine occasionally runs
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Old 04-29-2004, 00:43   #9 (permalink)
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Re: 10 most stupid questions?

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...

Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping?

Get that one all the time!
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Old 04-29-2004, 01:05   #10 (permalink)
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Re: 10 most stupid questions?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Discovery
Another thing that used to make me mad was when I washed cars at my fathers car yard to earn money while at uni. I would was 60 cars, 3 times a week and each time someone would come up to me and say "You can do mine next if you want" I swear sometimes I wanted to wrap the hose around their neck! I did have a clean car myself all the time tho, one extra in the line didn't hurt
Hahahaha. It is almost up there with your favorite menu question.

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