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Old 10-31-2001, 14:44   #1 (permalink)
 
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100%

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%!

How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove
helpful in the future! What makes life 100%?

If,

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

can be represented as

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98 % Only

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96 % Only

But,

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100 %

However,

B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

It stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
but attitude and bull**** will put you over the top!
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Old 10-31-2001, 14:51   #2 (permalink)
FM
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Good one Ian!! I'll pay that.. :rcool:
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Old 10-31-2001, 15:55   #3 (permalink)
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It's all so true!!! So true!! :D :MUha: :MUha:

Here's a fun little game to play during these meetings.. some may have seen already, but it's very worthwhile.. it's called Bullsh!t Bingo...

The idea of the game is to tick phrases as they are said, and the first to tick off 5 phrases must jump up and yell "Bullsh!t"!! :s5

The Phrases :
WALK THE TALK
TAKE THAT OFFLINE
STRATEGIC FIT
AT THE END OF THE DAY
GAP ANALYSIS
BEST PRACTICE
THE BOTTOM LINE
CORE COMPETENCY
LESSONS LEARNED
TOUCH BASE
REVISIT
GAME PLAN
BANDWITH
HARDBALL
LEVERAGE
OUT OF THE LOOP
GO THE EXTRA MILE
BENCHMARK
THE BIG PICTURE
KEY RESULT AREA
VALUE-ADDED
MOVERS AND SHAKERS
BALL PARK
PROACTIVE, NOT REACTIVE
WIN-WIN SITUATION
THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX
FAST TRACK
RESULT-DRIVEN
EMPLOYEE EMPOWERMENT
NO BLAME
STRETCH THE ENVELOPE
KNOWLEDGE BASE
RESULTS-DRIVEN
TOTAL QUALITY
SLIPPERY SLIDE
SLIPPERY SLOPE
TICKS IN BOXES
MINDSET
KNOCK-ON EFFECT
PUT THIS ONE TO BED
CLIENT-FOCUSED
SHOULDER TO THE WHEEL
QUALITY-DRIVEN
MOVE THE GOAL POSTS
WORK SMARTER, NOT HARDER


Spruce up that dull office meeting with a quick few rounds of Bullsh!t Bingo(tm) :D

Testimonials from other players:

"I had only been in the meeting for five minutes when I yelled
Bingo!"

"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."

"Meetings will never be the same for me after my first outright win."

"The atmosphere was tense at the last process workshop, as 32 of us
listened intently for the elusive Number Five."

"The facilitator was gobsmacked as we all screamed 'Bingo!' for the
third time in two hours."

"I feel that the game has enhanced the overall quality of meetings
per se on a quid pro quo basis."

"People are now even listening to the mumblers, thanks to Bull****
Bingo."
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Old 10-31-2001, 17:16   #4 (permalink)
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Hehehehe, now thats an idea el2xr8, better than listening to P&L stuff.
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Old 10-31-2001, 17:16   #5 (permalink)
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Oh yeah woooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooo i've reached 2500 posts. :s6: :s6: :s6:
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Motor May 2001 Quote: "Believe it or not, there are actually a bunch of weirdos out there who reckon a six cylinder is the dux gutz. Bugger it: I'm one of them" :s5

AUII Late Ed XR6 HP T5 Venom- Full Tickford Body Kit, 17in Wheels, Herrod Bi-plane Spoiler, Momo Steer/Gear, T-Series Interior Options, Premium Stereo and a very light-tuned 4.0L I6

(FPV-Tickford Club of NSW Member and Co-Founding Member of 3FB Inc, Ford Forums Food Bandits)
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Old 10-31-2001, 18:37   #6 (permalink)
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funni stuff mate :s5

do you actually sit around thinking up this **** though or what?

you job must be farken boring if so ahhaha
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Old 10-31-2001, 18:59   #7 (permalink)
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There's a big company out there that would have started most of that list off and more.

Care to guess which one?
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Old 10-31-2001, 19:17   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by el2xr8
The Phrases :
1.TAKE THAT OFFLINE
2.STRATEGIC FIT
3.AT THE END OF THE DAY
4.THE BOTTOM LINE
5.BENCHMARK
6.THE BIG PICTURE
7.VALUE-ADDED
8.BALL PARK
9.PROACTIVE, NOT REACTIVE
10.TOTAL QUALITY
11.CLIENT-FOCUSED
12.WORK SMARTER, NOT HARDER
BULLSHYTE!! BULLSHYTE!! :s5

I've heard all of these today and I haven't even been in a meeting!!! Woo Hoo!! I win!!
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Old 11-01-2001, 03:09   #9 (permalink)
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That's great HSE2, i'll think of this next time some plonker tells me to put in more that 100%



As for you Mr Sparkle, i thought you were a comedian (I mean this in a good way) with your piss funny entry in the Wasa and Geoff caption competition! Your Bullsh!t Bingo game is simply brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 11-01-2001, 06:39   #10 (permalink)
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Love that! I know a few people that always give 103% :MUha:
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