2002 Darwin Awards: The Day Of Judgement Approaches! - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars

KenOath · 02-24-2003, 15:59

In a few weeks, the 2002 Darwin Award Winners will be decided.

Nominees are.......

FIR KILLS TREE TRIMMER
England | A tree trimmer decided to save time, and throw
the pruned branches directly into a fire he built near
the base of the tree. Predictably, the tree caught fire,
putting an end to further timesaving innovations.

WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
Kansas | A man whose vehicle broke down on I-35 was struck
and killed by a train while calling for help. The train
engineer spotted him standing on the tracks, holding a
cell phone to one ear and cupping his hand to the other ear
to block the noise of the train.

WOUNDED WIRE BITES BACK
Pennsylvania | Daniel was practicing his marksmanship by
shooting at electrical insulators, whose function is to hold
electrical wires aloft. Eventually the shattered targets were
no longer able to do their job, and a high-voltage wire fell
to the ground, sending Daniel to his shocking demise.

WRONG AND WRONGER
Ukraine | A man was walking his dog, when a Police Academy
cadet pointed out that dogs on a public street must be leashed
and muzzled. The men began to argue, until the dog owner
pulled out a military hand grenade and threw it to the cadet's
feet. His well-trained dog immediately fetched it back,
and man and dog met the same messy fate.

BEES 1, HUMANS 0
Brazil | A farmer decided to burn a beehive out of his
orange tree. He protected his head from bee stings by sealing
a plastic bag tightly around his neck. His worried wife found
him dead a few hours later. He had forgotten to put breathing
holes in the bag.

CABLE CAR STAR
Italy | A 53-year-old Glasgow tourist used a mountain climber's
snap hook to attach himself to an unused cable car cable, and
attempted to slide down a mountain. Unable to defeat the force
of gravity, the man accelerated out of control and proceeded to
bash his way 200 meters down the cable before impacting a pylon.

ELECTRIFIED WORMS
Norway | If you need worms for fishing, just put a 12-volt
electric current through ground, and up they come. A 23-year-old
man withdrew his genes form the pool when he tried to speed up
the process by using 220V household current. Alas, he did so
squatting on a steel bucket, holding an electrode in one hand
while pushing the other in the ground...

GUN OWNER SHOOTS BACK 72%
New Mexico | 18-year-old Carlos tried to rob a man who had
placed a newspaper ad to sell a gun. Surprise! The gun seller
was also a gun owner. He fired it in self-defense,
and the robber died before rescue crews arrived.

SLICK SHIT SLIP
Arizona | Had he been eating too many banana peels?
A 49-year-old Mohave County Jail inmate defecated on his
cell floor, slipped in his own feces, struck his head
on the ground, and died.

FOOLISH COURAGE
Brazil | On New Year's Eve, some friends were befogged by Pinga,
a traditional Brazilian liquor, when they began competing to see
who could hold a lit firework in his mouth the longest. Antonio
was the winner, biting a firework a bit too long, and thereby
earning praise for his "courage" at his funeral.

BOOBY TRAPS TRAP BOOB
The Netherlands | A retired engineer booby-trapped his home
with twenty deadly devices, with the intention of killing his
estranged family. Anyone with common sense could predict the
inevitable outcome. He inadvertently triggered one of his own
hidden traps, and removed himself from the planet.

WELL-TRAINED
Kentucky | A 20-year-old demonstrating train-hopping to his
friends tried to hop a southbound train, but failed to notice
the simultaneous approach of a northbound train. He was struck
and killed.

psycho chicken · 02-25-2003, 01:15

Quote:

WRONG AND WRONGER
Ukraine | A man was walking his dog, when a Police Academy
cadet pointed out that dogs on a public street must be leashed
and muzzled. The men began to argue, until the dog owner
pulled out a military hand grenade and threw it to the cadet's
feet. His well-trained dog immediately fetched it back,
and man and dog met the same messy fate.

Ahhhh, priceless.

smciner1 · 02-27-2003, 01:43

Quote:

Originally posted by Ken Oath
WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
Kansas | A man whose vehicle broke down on I-35 was struck
and killed by a train while calling for help. The train
engineer spotted him standing on the tracks, holding a
cell phone to one ear and cupping his hand to the other ear
to block the noise of the train.

^^^

I vote for him.

Beefchief · 02-27-2003, 21:36

Quote:

WRONG AND WRONGER
Ukraine | A man was walking his dog, when a Police Academy
cadet pointed out that dogs on a public street must be leashed
and muzzled. The men began to argue, until the dog owner
pulled out a military hand grenade and threw it to the cadet's
feet. His well-trained dog immediately fetched it back,
and man and dog met the same messy fate.

I second that. You've got to feel sorry for the dog though!