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Old 09-17-2003, 06:00   #1 (permalink)
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Lightbulb 3FB Product Launch: Dark Horse Speed Control Unit™

3FB, Inc. are proud to announce our first product, the soon to be available to the mass market: Dark Horse Speed Control Unit™, model number 3FB/DH-SCU-M.

The DH-SCU-M is small microcontroller that fits into the dashboard (connecting to the tripmeter and cruise control circuitry) of all Series III AU Falcons (versions for other Falcons might become available as consumer demand dictates, though we doubt there will be any) and controls the speed of the vehicle. It works on a similar principle to the speed alert available on some vehicles where you program in a speed and when you exceed that speed it sounds a warning beep.

But that's where the similarity ends.

The DH-SCU-M's purpose is to maintain the correct speed whilst cruising. The driver inputs the desired speed (the speed limit for the given road, or the speed limit for a provisional licence) and the device then monitors the drivers speed once the vehicle exceeds 40 km/h.
When the vehicle is cruising at the entered speed limit the device is passive, but if the vehicles speed drops to more than 5 km/h less than the speed limit a warning chime will sound every 3 seconds until the speed is corrected back up to the speed limit.
If the vehicle continues to slow down to more than 10 km/h less than the speed limit the warning chime will sound continuously and cruise control will be engaged to bring the vehicle back up to the speed limit.

After many minutes of consideration by the 3FB R&D Team, it was decided that the two threshold speeds would be non-adjustable in case the driver wishes to set them to an inappropriately high level, thus rendering the device pointless.

Because the device is linked to the cruise control unit, if becomes disengaged if the driver brakes. This was an important safety feature that had to be present before the 3FB Committee approved the final product.

As you can see, the 3FB Committee (especially the 3FB Cruise Director) were well chuffed once the final product was released to manufacturing.



The next generation unit, model number 3FB/DH-SCU-A, will feature the use of optics and satellite navigation to read the speed limit signs and adjust itself automatically and accordingly, thereby always maintaining the correct vehicle speed no matter where the driver is.


For a limited time only, if you order the 3FB/DH-SCU-M, you will receive a complimentary mini Strider Doll to hang from your rear-view mirror. It's better than Elvis! Call now on 1 800 3FB 0WN J00 to avoid disappointment.


Also, stay tuned for other exciting Dark Horse products from 3FB, Inc. including the Auto-On UHF CB Radio™ and the Auto-Answer Mobile Phone Adapter™. Watch this space!
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Old 09-17-2003, 15:22   #2 (permalink)
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Re: 3FB Product Launch: Dark Horse Speed Control Unit™

I'm speechless, all I can say is that the ingenuity of your guys astounds me.

So has Dark Horse provided the mule for this to be tested? If he did then that explains a lot.

BTW very swish surroundings for the 3FB Executive meetings, so is that where all our memberships fees go? providing perks to the management! What have you got to say for yourselves?

Last edited by Blurter; 09-17-2003 at 15:24.
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Old 09-18-2003, 01:43   #3 (permalink)
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Re: 3FB Product Launch: Dark Horse Speed Control Unit™

I'll take 2
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Old 09-18-2003, 02:10   #4 (permalink)
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Re: 3FB Product Launch: Dark Horse Speed Control Unit™

U put a bit of effort into that.

Slow day huh ?
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Old 09-18-2003, 02:47   #5 (permalink)
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Re: 3FB Product Launch: Dark Horse Speed Control Unit™

As well as the BSR RamRod? Boy the posty will hate you.
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Old 09-18-2003, 04:17   #6 (permalink)
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you blokes need to get out more!
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Old 09-19-2003, 00:18   #7 (permalink)
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oh my god, what a big table you have!
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Old 09-19-2003, 01:33   #8 (permalink)
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Re: 3FB Product Launch: Dark Horse Speed Control Unit™

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Originally Posted by Sticky Date
oh my god, what a big table you have!
Big Research & Development calls call for such things. Especially when the food is ordered in....
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Old 09-19-2003, 04:26   #9 (permalink)
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Re: 3FB Product Launch: Dark Horse Speed Control Unit™

LOL as Falkeen said "you need to get out more" I was thinking "what planet you're on".............
Maybe it was the food !!!
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Old 09-19-2003, 05:17   #10 (permalink)
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Re: 3FB Product Launch: Dark Horse Speed Control Unit™

Are they trying to say something to you fellow 3fb/Meshbandit #2 ?
Has the 3FB committee asked for permission/approval merchandising these Darkhorse quality products and has any % been discussed ?
By the look of surroundings the Excutives are getting to fat (traction control)......
As you can see by the imcriminating evidence in the photo Strider had just calculated the figures $$$ and by the 3fb Cruise Director's reaction with his arm's in the air was "Shite I can buy my own 3fb Red Rooster"........

Darkhorse contact you're lawyers fast, this is a traversty !!!!
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