7 Reasons not to mess with Children.... - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars
Ford Forum Ford Forum

» Auto Insurance
» Featured Product
ยป Wheel & Tire Center

Go Back   Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub
Register Home Forum Active Topics Photo Gallery Auto Loans Garage Mark Forums Read Auto Escrow

The Pub For General Discussion

FordForums.com is the premier Ford Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-14-2004, 05:45   #1 (permalink)
E-series mutantette
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Soon to be Adelaide!
Age: 28
Posts: 1,890
7 Reasons not to mess with Children....

A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher: asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".




A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was.

The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied,
"They will in a minute."



A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) answered,
"Thou shall not kill."



One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"



The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and
say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,
She's dead. "


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position
the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted,

"Cause your feet ain't empty."



The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
__________________
'93 ED GLi Falcon
White, auto, performance 16's,
Pioneer DEH-P4650 MP3 H/U, Pioneer 6's.
Sub on the way!
Future mods: Speed Holes!
Pursuit_chick is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 07-14-2004, 05:51   #2 (permalink)
Officially Bored with 347
 
svo347's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Perth West Oz
Age: 41
Posts: 3,585
Re: 7 Reasons not to mess with Children....

Ahhhhhh hahahahahahahahah
Nice work Pursuit Chick... nice work..
__________________
FORD.... "POWER TO THE PEOPLE"...

Member of the "TKTDSGM " Group..
svo347 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2004, 05:56   #3 (permalink)
YES its a 5 Speed!!
 
Supa R00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Somewhere around here
Age: 27
Posts: 2,242
Re: 7 Reasons not to mess with Children....

Quote:
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,
She's dead. "
BWAHAHA!!! i love it!!! :s6:
__________________
1994 ED XR6
Tickford wings are for Tickford cars...
Proud TQE Operator

For Sale: 2001 Yamaha WR400F
PM me for info
Supa R00 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2004, 06:05   #4 (permalink)
Finally back in a V8
 
XR 330's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Muswellbrook
Age: 58
Posts: 158
Re: 7 Reasons not to mess with Children....

lol...the wisdom of children at it's best
XR 330 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2004, 06:07   #5 (permalink)
R.I.P Dimebag
 
Devil_Racer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: grasslands
Age: 30
Posts: 1,333
Re: 7 Reasons not to mess with Children....

lol very good
Devil_Racer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2004, 06:08   #6 (permalink)
E Series Chick Supremo
 
Mother Nature's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: MBFNW
Age: 47
Posts: 2,072
Re: 7 Reasons not to mess with Children....

LOL that reminds me of my now 10yr old son when he was on holidays in Sydney at the age of 3 with my aunt & uncle.......

My uncle took him to the train station to go into the city ..... They saw a freight train waiting near the platform ........

Son said to uncle .... thats my train ...... uncle said I dont see your name on it ...... without hesitation son turned to him & said .... no you cant ..... its on the other side ....

How quick can kids be at that age ??????



:fairy
__________________
94 ED XR8 Sprint


Check out the OzECruisers Inc. website HERE

FF Lynch Mob BITCH
O.F.R #65
Mother Nature is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2004, 06:17   #7 (permalink)
I am The Brain
 
FordHawk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Melbourne, Ford of Aus land
Age: 30
Posts: 3,073
Re: 7 Reasons not to mess with Children....

They are brilliant. I must remember them, I like quips.

I also like the way you have changed the colour of each individual joke...makes it a heck of a lot easier to read.
__________________
Would you like to change your name to Homer Junior? People can call you Hoju.
FordHawk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2004, 06:21   #8 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Perana XR8's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,492
Re: 7 Reasons not to mess with Children....

very good
__________________
Ben
Perana XR8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2004, 06:28   #9 (permalink)
R.I.P Dimebag
 
Devil_Racer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: grasslands
Age: 30
Posts: 1,333
Re: 7 Reasons not to mess with Children....

how about another one

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of you bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you bastards who are getting on, get your ass in the train, Cause we're going down the tracks."
The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today & hope your trip was a pleasant one."
She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to store all of your hand luggage under your seat. remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please direct your complaints to the fat bitch in the kitchen."
Devil_Racer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2004, 06:30   #10 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Perana XR8's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,492
Re: 7 Reasons not to mess with Children....

thats a good one too
__________________
Ben
Perana XR8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

  Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Procar Bathurst Qualifying - and results as they become available russellw Ford Racing Across the Globe 76 11-23-2003 22:17
TE50 puts in a good showing at indy... tickford2001 Ford Racing Across the Globe 21 10-27-2003 03:10
U.S. Ford fans have 100 reasons why they came to celebrate Stacy94PGT Ford Worldwide News 1 06-17-2003 10:24
Fixing the mess at Mercury a matter of relationships, not relatives, Elena Ford says Stacy94PGT Ford Worldwide News 0 07-11-2002 14:20
Can ECU cars be tuned for PULP? EA S General Tech 26 12-07-2001 23:09

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 17:34.



Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0
Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.