Administratium - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars

06-26-2002, 17:02

Investigators at a major research institution recently discovered the heaviest element
known to science and have tentatively named it - Administratium. Administratium has
no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It has, however, 1
neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that
involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
They are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since it
has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically, as it
impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. According to the discoverers, a
minute amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take over four days to
complete when it would have normally occurred in less than a second. Administratium
has a half-life of approximately three years. However, it does not decay in the usual
way, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since with each reorganisation
some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes. This
characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that
Administratium is spontaneously formed whenever moron concentration reaches a
certain level. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the Critical Morass.