Advice... love - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars

subsbligh35 · 03-14-2003, 22:48

Hey this is a car forum and all but this is also the asylum and i need some advice

My girlfriend of a year and a bit lives up here in Brissy but her family lives in NSW. Last night she found out her brother got HIT AND RUN by some absolute fu.ckwit as he was walking home from the pub (poor bastard has 2 broken legs and a shit load of cuts and gravel rash etc, lucky to be alive. oh and the bogan that hit him was driving a holden ute

, while pissed).

She has decided to go home today for 2 weeks to be with her family etc and look after her brother or whatnot. Informed me today that she might move home for a bit longer ie 3 months.

Our relationship has been very shaky and we only just got back together after breaking up for about 6 weeks. Its been tough and i wasn't even sure if i wanted to get back together and was having thoughts just recently of breaking up.

Now I know it is semi selfish to be thinking of myself right now but
i don't know whether to stay or to go. I want to be there for her now and i don't exactly want her to be leaving her in a time of need (women of the forum don't hate me). But i don't know where the relationship is going and i don't want to lead her on and i dont want to get my hopes up just to be let down.

Stay or go?

Thanks guys and girls

TopGhia · 03-14-2003, 22:56

(edited 16/3/02)
I misread things the first time round - so my 2c worth is :

don't go. don't follow. Time and space cures all things.

There are plenty more chicky-babes in the big pond of life!

(edited 17/3/02)

put things on hold.

ford.boy · 03-14-2003, 23:55

I vote Go. Unless it's completely impractical... nope go, no matyter what.

YuGoStaR · 03-15-2003, 01:30

If u are going to go, do it soon. If you do it later it will look like you cracked under pressure like a pussy.
But, it is up to you.

greg6099 · 03-15-2003, 01:39

Someone has to disagree!

Mate.

Life is full of obstacles that will require either one of you to leave the nest. You can't follow each other around holding each other's hand.

I presume you have a life to continue in Brisbane (work etc?).

SHe is going to her family to provide care and support for family and in particular her bother. Now I'm not saying you will be in the way as only you know what the family dynamics are.

A couple of broken legs (and I don't want to trivialise his injuries) and a bit of gravel reash needs about 1 or 2 weeks of brekkie in bed and then a set of crutches or a wheel chair will have him sorted out.

Your girl wants to go for 2 weeks, oops better make that a bit longer like 3 months or perhaps don't call me I'll call you.

Check your motive for wanting to go dude. Do you want to support her whilst she in the midle of her entire family support unit or are you concerned that i she goes you may not see her again?

Think really carefully and don't embares yourself by following her down if she is trying to tell you not to come.

Otherwise tell her you'll be down in a couple of weeks and for her to call you when she wants you down there.

Best of luck.

Mother Nature · 03-15-2003, 01:49

Dear subsbligh35,

Anyone needs their family in times of need & no relationship whether married or just boyfriend/girlfriend is apparent in their eyes.

Matey ........ you have said yourself this relationship hasnt been good for a while.......

May I suggest you let her attend to her family matters........ Obviously you know the brother who is injured so it would be appropriate to enquire after his health.........

Let her do the follow up if she wants after this is all sorted out..... if things wernt good before the accident this isnt going to make it any better

Give it a week & call her if she hasnt called you if you want ..........
you sound like your almost relieved

greg6099 · 03-15-2003, 02:20

Just finished reading Mother Nature's reply and I had to grab a couple of tissues.

Very touchy feely and is similar advice to mine; only in girly terms.

subsbligh35 you have a lot to consider. Step away from the situation and have a hard logical look at it - very hard when yor emotions are in the way.

Nothing worse than stuffing up a good relationship by 'crowding' the other party when they are perhaps seeking a bit of solitude to sort out their own feelings.

greg6099 · 03-15-2003, 02:22

Excuse all the spelling mistakes in my first post but I are a gud spella normalee

psycho chicken · 03-15-2003, 03:24

I'd go if it were me.

Like it's been said, if it's not the best it's not gonna magically get better when she comes back.

Unless you can sort out conflicts and issues as soon as they come up, the relationship isn't worth keeping. 6 weeks is a long time to get back together in my eyes. Too long really.

No offence, but that's what I think.

[edit] Sorry, I read you wrong. By go i thought you mean leave her. [/edit]

XD 351 Ute · 03-15-2003, 05:27

Mate, do you see yourself settling down or doing anything serious with this girl???
If yes, then go. If not, then it's "see ya".
Don't waste yours and her time by staying in a relationship that appears to be losing it's gloss.
It's much better to find someone that you'd WANT to be with, and that they WANT to be with you.
Staying in a relationship just for the company is not the best thing in my opinion..

Then again, being by yourself sucks too...........

Ed :)