Australian Ford Member
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Another contender for moron driver of the year
I'm approaching a taxi (always a dangerous action - I know, 'cos I used to drive one hungry from Fri p.m. after a few beers to Mon a.m. with a few hours sleep Fri and Sat early morning - three years and never hit anything) leaving a hospital driveway on my side of the road.
As I reach the point where I figure: Nah, he's not going to pull out, he naturally does, to turn right in my direction. Back off, no dramas, plenty of room, bloody dickhead!
He stops partly across my lane. Brake a bit, plenty of room, I'll go round him O.K. F**king moron!
He starts to move again. Shit, he's going to try to complete the turn. No problem, I'll go behind the f**kwit, 'cos he'll be gone when I get there.
He turns right alright, straight into my lane, then stops. Sheeeeeeeit! I'll move to my right and get around him. Oops. 4WD behind me hasn't been able to pull up in time (which I knew 'cos I was braking light so he wouldn't rear end me) so he's going around me and now I can't get out to the right to get around the taxi.
Brake hard. Where did these c**ts get their f**king licences. Still, no wuckers, I'll avoid the taxi, I'll still stop O.K. 'cos I'm so bloody clever that I'm now driving for all three of us and I'm the only one capable of avoiding what could have been nasty for all of us.
Not entirely right. I don't have as much braking distance now, because the f**king lunatic in the taxi is now driving straight at me in my lane, and I can't go right because wonder boy in the 4WD has me locked in and I can't power ahead of him in time - , I'm not even going to drop into the right gear in time- and he doesn't want to go further right into the oncoming traffic.
What the f**k is going on?
Brake real hard, keep it on the threshold, force 4WD to move right in case I don't stop in time, it's his fault if he hits oncoming traffic because the prick shouldn't have been up my quoit if he couldn't stop and let's hope I don't get involved in that one but I've created enough room to get around the taxi if he maintains his course.
Numbnuts in the taxi turns right again, back into the hospital on another entry, as I stop. He's really just done a U-turn around the entry-exit island with a couple of stops in between. Sticks his hand above the roof and gives me a cheery wave and big smile, the stupid prick. I make it clear to him that I do not share his amusement, although his driving skills are certainly laughable.
And off we go on our merry ways, a few seconds of an otherwise dull day usefully employed to confirm my prejudices about 4WD drivers and Melbourne's current crop of taxi drivers, most of whom are not naturally gifted drivers or navigators.