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Old 04-26-2002, 18:10   #1 (permalink)
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AP Is Suffering Withdrawal

My PC has run like a dream since I got it, and never did I have any trouble. get to USA and thing dies. Hence no FF. I'm doing this post in a few minutes on another PC just so I remember what this place is like!!!!! Need access, need access.......

Oh and then there's the shiteboxes you get from national Rental car - I miss the XR8 something fierce.

Anyhow, hope to be seeing Lunatic (aka John) in next week or two. Nothing like going to Mecca to see the holy one is there? (he he he)

Keep on keeping on guys!

Regards from USA!
Aussie Pete.
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'General' Dog - AP's German Shepherd and Best Mate - 02Dec1998-15Dec2003.
'Pepper' Dog - General's and My Little German Shepherd Sweetie - 1996?-02Apr2006.

'Sako' Dog - My Beautiful and Pretty German Shepherd - 2001?-23Aug2006.
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Old 04-26-2002, 18:15   #2 (permalink)
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have to change nick mate..

aussie pete = yankee pete

hehe

hope your having a blast mate.. thrash those rent a cars..

keep us posted of your travels mate!

cheers

tony
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Old 04-26-2002, 18:21   #3 (permalink)
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AP: if you read this got your email. I will send you a reply with info later tonight.

Just FYI yes I can fix your problem if you like.
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Old 04-26-2002, 18:26   #4 (permalink)
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John, I need a fix alright. I can't tell you how much I'd appreciate it. My shout at the bar buddy!
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'General' Dog - AP's German Shepherd and Best Mate - 02Dec1998-15Dec2003.
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Old 04-26-2002, 18:28   #5 (permalink)
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Hi Ap - glad to hear ur still with us!!
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Old 04-26-2002, 19:37   #6 (permalink)
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Pete I have found the XR8 keeper will go for a cruise maybe, Mark can fix your idle problem just needs to fit a 750 double pumper!hehehe.
Have fun at the bump and grind bars & remember the best bourbon in the USA / World is Makers Mark!!
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Old 04-26-2002, 19:53   #7 (permalink)
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AP: you will need to have these memorized before you can come down here.

A-Fixin: Getting ready. Usage: "Were a-fixin' to go to the store."

Ah: The thing you see with, and the personal pronoun used denoting individuality. "Ah think Ah've got somethin' in mah ah."

Airish - breezy or drafty. Usage: "Shut your winder. It's too airish."

Askeered: Frightened or afraid of. Usage: "He's askeered of his own shadow."

Aim: To intend or to plan. Usage: "I aim to buy some land."

Ast: To interrogate or inquire, as when a revenue agent seeks information about illegal moonshine stills. "Don't ast me so many question. It makes me mad."

Attair: Contraction used to indicate the specific item desire. "Pass me attair gravy, please"

Awful Poorly - very ill. Usage: "He's been lookin' awful poorly."

Awl: All: An amber fluid used to lubricate engines. Usage:"I sure hope my cuzin from Ohi puts awll in my pickup truck."

Bahs: noun. A supervisor. Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

Bammer: (n) -The state west of Florida. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage:"A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in imporvements."

Bard: verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

Bare: noun. An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

Bawl: What water does at 212 degrees Fahrenheit. "That gal cain't even bawl water without burnin' it."

Biggety - Stuck up or acting big. Usage: "she's been actin' awful biggety these days."

Bleeve: Expression of intent or faith. "Ah bleeve we ought to go to church this Sunday."

Bob War: noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

Book Read - educated or well informed. Usage: "we aim for little Flossie to git book read someday."

Cent: plural of cent. "you paid five dollars for that necktie? Ah wouldn't give fiddy cent for it."

Clum: - Climbed. Usage: "I clum that hill for the last time."

Cole's Law: thinly shredded cabbage

Crick: a stiffness. A stream of water. Usage: "Marvin has a crick in his neck."
Usage: "we take the lawndry to to crick to get 'em clean."

Cuttin' Up: Acting a fool. Usage: "Maud shore was cuttin' up last night."

Cyst: to render aid. "Can Ah cyst you with those packages, ma'am."

Dayum: A cuss word Rhett Butler used in "Gone With the Wind." "Frankly,my dear, I don't give a dayum."

Did: adjective. Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."

Doin's - A function. Usage: "Are you goin to the church doin's tonight?"

Ear: (n) -A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen. Usage:"He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ear!"

Et - Eaten. Usage: "Have you'll et yet?"

Everwhichaways: To be scattered in all directions. "You should have been there when the train hit attair chicken truck. Them chickens flew everwhichaways.

Eyedeer: (n) -a concept or thought. Usage:"I ain't got no eyedeer how to git to Warshington"

Far: noun. A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far." another useage: A state of combustion that produces heat and light. "Ah reckon it's about time to put out the far and call in the dawgs."

Farn: adjective. Not local. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed....mus' be from some farn country."

Fat: noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

Fetch - To bring. Usage: "Go fetch the doctor."

Flares: The colorful, sweet-smelling part of a plant. "If yo wife's mad at ya, it's smart to take her some flares."

Fur: Because of or to indicate possession. "Fur yew ta get attair new car yew gotta go see Bubba bout a loan."

Fur: Measure of distance. "It's a fur piece ta Etlanna."

Gander - To look at. Usage: "Didja get a gander at her?"

Good ole boy: Any Southern male between age 16 and 60 who has an amiable disposition and is fond of boon companions, strong drink, hound dawgs, fishin', huntin', and good lookin' women, but not necessarily in that order. " Bubba's a good ole boy."

Griyuts: What no Southern breakfast would be without - grits. "Ah like griyuts with butter and sawt on'em, but Ah purely love'em with red-eye gravy."

Gully-Washer - A hard rain. Usage: "We sure had a gully-washer last night."

Gummit: Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!

Hale: Where General Sherman is going for what he did to Etlanna. (Atlanta) "General Sherman said "War is Hale" and he made sure it was."

Haze: (contraction) Usage:"Is Bubba smart?" "Nah....haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit 'n 'is laf."

Heavy Dew: phrase. A request for action. Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

Heidi: (n) -Greeting Usage:"Heidi"

Hep: to aid or benefit. "Ah can't hep it if Ah'm still in love with you."

Hesh-up - Become quiet. Usage: "Make Jed hesh up."

Het - To become heated or upset. Usage: "Don't let that get you all het up."

Hire Yew: Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"

Holler - A small valley. Usage: " She comes from over in the holler."

Hot: noun. A blood-pumping organ. HOD - adverb. Not easy. Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

Idinit: Term employed by genteel Southerners to avoid saying Ain't. "Mighty hot today, idinit?"

Ignert: (adjective) -Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage:"Them Kentuckee boys sure are ignert, but the girls is purty."

Jawjuh: (n) -The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage:"The limpicks was in Lanner Jawjuh , where that Rocker boy pitches ball.

Jeet: (Phrase) -To partake of food Usage:"Jeet yet?"

Jew: (n)-Question: Did you? Do You? Usage: "Jew git any bare?" Did you. "Jew want to buy attair comic book, son, or just stand there and read it here?"

Ju-Here: a question. Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"

Kintuckee: (n)-The state southwest of Wesferginyah. Capitol is Looieville. Usage: "I got off the bus at Looieville on the way to Fort Knocks."

Kumpny: Guests. "Be home on time. We's havin' kumpny for supper."

Law: Police, or as Southerners pronounce it, PO-leece. "We better get outta here. That bartender's doen called the law."

Likker: Whiskey; either the amber kind bought in stores or the homemade white kind that federal authorities frown upon." Does he drink? Listen, he spills more likker than most people drink.'

Lot: adjective. Luminescent. Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."

Mash: To press, as in the case of an elevator button. "Want me to mash yo floor for you, Ma'am?"

Muchablige: Thank you. "muchablige for the lift, mister."

Munts: noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."

Naw - No. Usage: "Naw, I never fetched the syrup."

Nawthun: Anything that is not Southern. "He is a classic product of the superior Nawthun educational system." (sarcasm)

Ohi: (n)-The state west of Wesferginyah. Capitol is Clumbus. Usage: "If all the people from Wesferginyah came home, there wouldn't be no Ohi."

Ovair: In that direction. 'Where's yo paw, son?" He's ovair, suh."

Parts - Area or neighborhood. Usage: "What's he doin' in these parts."

Pensyvanyuh: (n)-The state north of Wesferginyah. Capitol is Picksburg. Usage: "We went up to Picksburg and watched the Pirates play Lanner.

Phraisin: Very cold. "Shut that door. It's phraisin in here."

Pizen - Poison. Usage: "I seen lotsa pizen snakes in these here parts."

Plum: Completely. "Ah'm plum wore out."

Put-out - Angry, annoyed. Usage: "He sure wuz put-out 'bout the meetn'."

Ranch: (n) -A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage:"I thank I left my ranch in the back of my pickup truck my cuzin from Ohi bard a few munts ago."

Rats: noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

Retard: verb. To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

Retch: To grasp for. "The right feilder retch over into the stands and caught the ball."

Saar: The opposite of sweet. "These pickles Sure are saar."

Seed: verb, past tense. VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

Shovelay: A GM car. "Nobody could drive a Shovelay like Junior Johnson."

Sinner: Exact middle of. "Have you been to the new shoppin' sinner."

Smack-dab - On the dot, exactly. Usage: "I shot 'em smack-dab thru the heart."

Squarsh: - noun. A vegetable (also verb - to flatten). Usage: "Warsh that squarsh,
Bubba ... you don't know where its been!"

Sugar: A kiss. "Come here and give me some sugar."

Tar: noun. A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

Tar Arns: A tool employed in changing wheels. "You cain't change a tar without a tar arn."

Tarred: Fatigued. "Ah'm too tarred to go bowlin' nonight."

Thank: (v) -Ability to cognitively process. Usage:"Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

Tire: noun. A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eifel Tire in Paris sometime."

Uhmurkin: Someone who lives int he United States of Uhmurka. "Thomas Jefferson was a great Uhmurkin."

Unt: (v) -to wish or want to Usage:"Jew unta go Picksburg to watch a game?"

View: contraction: verb and pronoun. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City....view?"

War: Metal strands attached to posts to enclose domestic animals. "Be careful and don't get stuck on that bob war."

Warsh: verb. To clean.

Wesferginyah (noun)-Heart of Redneck Country, home of the "Mountaineers". Usage: "I luv Wesferginyah"

West By God (phrase)-Abbreviation for: West Virginia, Most Beautiful Place Ever Created By God. Usage: "I can't wait to git back to West By God." or "I'm from West By God."

Whup: To beat or to strike. Usage: "OOOEEE!!! Yer mama's gonna whup you fer sayin' a cuss word." - "Paw sure whupped me when I fibbed to the wider woman"

Yankee shot: A Southern child's navel. "Momma, what's this on mah belly?" "That's yo Yankee Shot." Zat: Is that. "Zat yo dawg?"


THE REDNECK MEDICAL DICTIONARY
Benign..........................What you be after you be eight.
Artery...........................The study of paintings.
Bacteria........................Back door to cafeteria.
Barium..........................What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section.........A neighborhood in Rome.
CTscan..........................Searching for kitty.
Cauterize.......................Made eye contact with her.
Colic..............................A sheep dog.
Coma.............................A punctuation mark.
D & C............................Where Washington is.
Dilate.............................To live long.
Enema............................Not a friend.
Fester.............................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula.............................A small lie.
Genital...........................Non-Jewish person.
G.I. Series.....................World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail........................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent.........................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain.....................Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff.................A Doctor's cane.
Morbid............................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates..........................Cheaper than day rates.
Node...............................Knew (i.e. I knew it.)
Outpatient......................A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear......................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis..............................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative...............A letter carrier.
Recovery Room.............Place to do upholstery.
Rectum...........................Durn near killed him.
Secretion........................Hiding something.
Seizure............................Roman emperor.
Tablet.............................A small table.
Terminal Illness.............Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor.............................More than one.
Urine..............................Opposite of you're out.
Varicose.........................Near by/close by.
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Old 04-26-2002, 20:00   #8 (permalink)
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I declare that the longest post ever
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Old 04-26-2002, 20:01   #9 (permalink)
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LMFAO!!! :s3
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Old 04-26-2002, 20:50   #10 (permalink)
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ROTGDF Lunatic........were you bored .......
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