The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents
tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens.
On time, we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat
of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went
flying and broke and made a mess." What's the moral of the story?" asked
the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" "Very good," said
Next, little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers
But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time,
but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this
story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
"That was a fine story, Sarah.
Johnny, do you have a story to share?" "Yes, my daddy told me this story
about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the Gulf War,
and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all
she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank
the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break, and then she landed
right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with
the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty
more with the machete until the blade broke. And then she killed the
last ten with her bare hands. "Good heavens," said the horrified
teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible
"Stay the f... away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."