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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-08-03, 05:29 AM Thread Starter
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Tongue Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speak to him?"
Kiwi: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this Kiwi your owner?" (pointing at Kiwi)
Dog: "Yep."
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good - he walks me twice a day, feeds me great tucker and takes me to the lake once a week to play"
Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either ... I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at Kiwi)
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regular, brushes me down often and keeps me in a barn to protect me from the elements."
Kiwi: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Kiwi: "The sheep's a f***ing liar!"
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-08-03, 05:33 AM
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

(Dave copies and forwards to all his kiwi mates) That should shut those bastards up, thats great.
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-08-03, 06:02 AM
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

I thought it was funny........
Problem is Im a KIWI

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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-08-03, 07:31 AM
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

LMAO!!!


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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-08-03, 02:18 PM
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

Yeah TEAM KIWI this ones for you

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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-08-03, 02:18 PM
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

Hahaha I think I might send that one around work...no kiwis working for us, but they will laugh at that!

Would you like to change your name to Homer Junior? People can call you Hoju.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-08-03, 02:23 PM
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

An oldie but a goldie, baaaa.
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-08-03, 02:55 PM
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

:)

Dot Aye You
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-08-03, 04:28 PM
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ


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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-09-03, 02:34 AM
 
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

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