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Old 12-08-2003, 05:29   #1 (permalink)
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Tongue Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speak to him?"
Kiwi: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this Kiwi your owner?" (pointing at Kiwi)
Dog: "Yep."
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good - he walks me twice a day, feeds me great tucker and takes me to the lake once a week to play"
Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either ... I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at Kiwi)
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regular, brushes me down often and keeps me in a barn to protect me from the elements."
Kiwi: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Kiwi: "The sheep's a f***ing liar!"
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Old 12-08-2003, 05:33   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

(Dave copies and forwards to all his kiwi mates) That should shut those bastards up, thats great.
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Old 12-08-2003, 06:02   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

I thought it was funny........
Problem is Im a KIWI
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Old 12-08-2003, 07:31   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

LMAO!!!
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Old 12-08-2003, 14:18   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

Yeah TEAM KIWI this ones for you
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Old 12-08-2003, 14:18   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

Hahaha I think I might send that one around work...no kiwis working for us, but they will laugh at that!
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Old 12-08-2003, 14:23   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

An oldie but a goldie, baaaa.
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Old 12-08-2003, 14:55   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Aussie ventriloquist visiting NZ

:)
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Old 12-08-2003, 16:28   #9 (permalink)
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Old 12-09-2003, 02:34   #10 (permalink)
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