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Old 03-25-2004, 20:24   #1 (permalink)
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Bart Simpson Lines!

Bart can be seen writing on the blackboard as punishment, a sentence hundreds of times. The sentences change all the time. Since Bart is a rather naughty ten year old boy (sort of like Johnny in the Little Johnny Jokes), the sentences take on a life of their own.
here r some :

I will not carve gods.
I will not spank others.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not barf unless I'm sick.
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
I saw nothing unusual in the teachers lounge.
I will not conduct my own fire drills.
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
Funny noises are not funny.
I will not snap bras.
I will not fake seizures.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
My name is not Dr.
Death.
I will not defame New Orleans.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not bring sheep to class.
A burp is not an answer.
Teacher is not a leper.
Coffee is not for kids.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not yell "she's dead" at roll call.
The principals toupee is not a frisbee.
I will not call the principal "spud head".
Goldfish don't bounce.
Mud is not one of the four foodgroups.
No one is interested in my underpants.
I will not sell miracle cures.
I will return the seeing eye dog.
I do not have diplomatic immunity.
I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
All work and no play makes bart a dull boy.
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
My homework was not stolen by the one armed man.
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
I am not deliciously saucy.
Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
The pledge of allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan".
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
There are plenty of businesses like show business.
I will not waste chalk.
I will never win an Emmy.
I will not torment the emotionally frail.



LOL love dat last one
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Old 03-25-2004, 20:28   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Bart Simpson Lines!

Quote:
A burp is not an answer.
Yes it is.....at least it can be!
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Old 03-25-2004, 20:34   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Bart Simpson Lines!

I agree with that last one....absolute cracker!
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Old 03-25-2004, 22:46   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Bart Simpson Lines!

snapping bras? he's like 10 years old...
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Old 03-26-2004, 00:02   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Bart Simpson Lines!

maybe the women develop faster in usa
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Old 03-26-2004, 01:54   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Bart Simpson Lines!

lol they are all funny... is that all of them, or are there more? ive always wanted to konw them
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Old 03-26-2004, 03:04   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Bart Simpson Lines!

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaD_WoG
lol they are all funny... is that all of them, or are there more? ive always wanted to konw them
I would say theres more, I'm assuming there is a different line for each episode and I think there are more than 40 odd episodes.. maybe?
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Old 03-26-2004, 06:17   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Bart Simpson Lines!

there would be at least 150 episodes. Theres over 12 seasons or something?
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Old 03-26-2004, 13:04   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Bart Simpson Lines!

I had a teacher at school who was a big fan of the show & for punishment if we didn't do all our work or do our homework he would make us write lines.The lines were always from the night before's simpsons.
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Old 03-26-2004, 16:24   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Bart Simpson Lines!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Back In Black
snapping bras? he's like 10 years old...
Lisa is meant to be younger and she says words not even i can understand.

Is the best show.
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