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Old 03-27-2002, 17:30   #1 (permalink)
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Lightbulb Basic Flying Rules

1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground,
buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
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Old 03-27-2002, 19:27   #2 (permalink)
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4. Take-offs are optional. Landings are mandatory.

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Old 03-27-2002, 23:18   #3 (permalink)
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1. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

2. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

3. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

4. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

5. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

6. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

7. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

8. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

9. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

10. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the
number of take offs you've made.

11. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

And finally ...

Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to appeal.
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Old 03-27-2002, 23:57   #4 (permalink)
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Basic Flying Rules

ROFL!
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