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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-03-03, 11:48 PM Thread Starter
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Question Billy Connelly's question time!

1..Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?

2..Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

3..Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

4..If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

5..Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

6..If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

7..Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

8..Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

9..Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

10..What do you call male ballerinas?

11..Why ARE Trix only for kids?

12..If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

13..Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

14..If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

15..If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

16..If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

17..If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

18..Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

19..Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

20..Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

21..Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

22..Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-03-03, 11:56 PM
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love'n it!!!

"If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?"

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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-04-03, 01:09 AM
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Re: Billy Connelly's question time!

Originally posted by Mr Sparkle

3..Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Hey my freezer has a light!

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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-04-03, 03:02 AM
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"I love dogs.........dogs are smart......when is the last time you saw a dog step in a humanshit?"

Talking about lights, has anyone ever wondered why cars don't have a light that lights up the engine bay ? I have.

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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-04-03, 05:31 AM
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I think...therefore I am.

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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-04-03, 05:37 AM
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Billy Connelly is a fo#*ing legend.
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-04-03, 05:41 AM
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mr sparkle
they are great

the toes that you step on today may be attached the the legs that hold up the a$$ that you may need to kiss tomorrow
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-04-03, 05:52 AM
Two SC 61's = trouble
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He's on ch 7 now ..

Don't be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark...Professionals built the Titanic!
Tuned & maintained by "Peppertree Perfmormance". Dart block, Scat 4340 steel crank, Custom C.P pistons.Oliver rods.. Mal Wood twin plate clutch.. Twin SC61/2's,482 rwkw/ 645 rwhp..
Passengers, myocardial infarction material..
R.I.P Possum...
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-04-03, 06:00 PM
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Oh yeah he is pretty bloody funny. He just has the knack he knows what people want to hear and he does not give a shit what anybody thinks about him

Steve B

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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-04-03, 11:27 PM
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hahah - they cracked me up!!

Well what can I say? It's a Falcon: Falcon's fly: Nuff said.
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