Billy Connelly's question time! - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars
Ford Forum Ford Forum

» Auto Insurance
» Featured Product
┬╗ Wheel & Tire Center

Go Back   Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub
Register Home Forum Active Topics Photo Gallery Auto Loans Garage Mark Forums Read Auto Escrow

The Pub For General Discussion

FordForums.com is the premier Ford Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-03-2003, 22:48   #1 (permalink)
CEO - The BSR Group
 
Mr Sparkle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: The sound of 1 cylinder bank´┐
Posts: 4,400
Question Billy Connelly's question time!

1..Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?

2..Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

3..Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

4..If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

5..Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

6..If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

7..Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

8..Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

9..Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

10..What do you call male ballerinas?

11..Why ARE Trix only for kids?

12..If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

13..Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

14..If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

15..If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

16..If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

17..If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

18..Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

19..Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

20..Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

21..Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

22..Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
__________________
Now powered by PCOTY WINNING SR20DET - 32% engine weight, 37% capacity, 50% cylinder count
Clicky clicky here for previous ride! I still miss her!
Mr Sparkle is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 06-03-2003, 22:56   #2 (permalink)
true blue thru & thru
 
big_pete's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Photo-Choppin'
Age: 30
Posts: 1,387
love'n it!!!

"If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?"
__________________
big_pete is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2003, 00:09   #3 (permalink)
Fully Sick Magna Driver
 
rob_o's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Gosford, NSW
Age: 28
Posts: 625
Re: Billy Connelly's question time!

Quote:
Originally posted by Mr Sparkle

3..Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Hey my freezer has a light!

-Rob
rob_o is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2003, 02:02   #4 (permalink)
Wildlife Photographer
 
VanGelder's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Adelaide, S.A.
Age: 34
Posts: 1,413
"I love dogs.........dogs are smart......when is the last time you saw a dog step in a humanshit?"

Talking about lights, has anyone ever wondered why cars don't have a light that lights up the engine bay ? I have.
__________________
Please check out V8FREAKS.COM !
Be sure to drop a line !
VanGelder is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2003, 04:31   #5 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Qld
Age: 65
Posts: 502
I think...therefore I am.
__________________
FORD RULES OK
John McMaster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2003, 04:37   #6 (permalink)
3FB Food Press
 
Vinno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sydney
Age: 51
Posts: 305
Billy Connelly is a fo#*ing legend.
Vinno is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2003, 04:41   #7 (permalink)
rod
Registered User
 
rod's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Melbourne
Age: 51
Posts: 2,784
mr sparkle
they are great
regards
rod
__________________
the toes that you step on today may be attached the the legs that hold up the a$$ that you may need to kiss tomorrow
rod is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2003, 04:52   #8 (permalink)
Two SC 61's = trouble
 
ebxr8240's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Penrith,nswAus/Morrinville.NZ
Age: 60
Posts: 6,360
He's on ch 7 now ..
__________________
Don't be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark...Professionals built the Titanic!
.
Tuned & maintained by "Peppertree Perfmormance". Dart block, Scat 4340 steel crank, Custom C.P pistons.Oliver rods.. Mal Wood twin plate clutch.. Twin SC61/2's,482 rwkw/ 645 rwhp..
Passengers, myocardial infarction material..
R.I.P Possum...
ebxr8240 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2003, 17:00   #9 (permalink)
Senior Events Moderator
 
AU1SIXA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Age: 33
Posts: 1,710
Oh yeah he is pretty bloody funny. He just has the knack he knows what people want to hear and he does not give a shit what anybody thinks about him

Steve B
__________________
BSR (LPG BIATCH, SPER-MIN-ATOR, PEPPER BIATCH)
TEAM GALAXY(Co-Founder)
FF EVENTS ORGANISER
AUPS
AU1SIXA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2003, 22:27   #10 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 171
hahah - they cracked me up!!
__________________
Well what can I say? It's a Falcon: Falcon's fly: Nuff said.
BluButterfly17 is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

  Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Part Time Uni - Full Time work can I survive? carazy The Pub 25 07-04-2003 02:48
'Henry had the dream' Stacy94PGT Ford Worldwide News 0 03-28-2003 05:58
'X' pipe question TUFESP General Tech 9 11-26-2002 19:34
NAPARM- Thread Preview Question batbo6 The Pub 5 07-23-2002 02:58
Vehicle History russellw The Pub 4 07-08-2002 23:10

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:31.



Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0
Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.