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Old 03-26-2004, 02:30   #1 (permalink)
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BJ Etiquitte

can't let pursuit_chick have all the fun



Proper Blowjob Etiquitte
Blowjob Etiquette (by a female)

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.

2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.

4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.

5. My ears are NOT handles.

6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.

8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head we're bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.

9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.

10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.

16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".

A Man's thoughts on Fellatio aka Rebuttal Etiquette (by a male)

1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.

2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.

3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?

4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.

5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!

6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me.

7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.

8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.

9. Play with the balls.

10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.

11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!

12. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".

13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
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Old 03-26-2004, 04:03   #2 (permalink)
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Re: BJ Etiquitte

You probably should have put this in the Donating members section Laurel.
Not for Public veiwing.
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Old 03-26-2004, 04:04   #3 (permalink)
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Re: BJ Etiquitte

Moved here - just a little to over the top for general viewing.
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Old 03-26-2004, 04:07   #4 (permalink)
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Re: BJ Etiquitte

Thanks phil, some peolpe should read the rules.
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Old 03-26-2004, 11:19   #5 (permalink)
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Re: BJ Etiquitte

Yes Kerry
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Old 03-26-2004, 12:05   #6 (permalink)
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Re: BJ Etiquitte

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
can't let pursuit_chick have all the fun



Proper Blowjob Etiquitte
Blowjob Etiquette (by a female)

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
You are until that ring hits your finger.....that is the general rule of thumb. Ask most wives.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
Why? You now too good to do it when you get married? Most women freely give it up until that ring hits the finger and they say I DO. From there they dont have to "perform" to try to catch their man. They have him now. Unlucky bastard.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
May not be standard practice, but will happen.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
Then refer to number 3 response. Cause if it is not going down your throat it goes it will go on your face.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
5. My ears are NOT handles.
Could have fooled me!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?
You obviously need more practice if you can not stop your gag reflex. WE are only trying to help!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
Females complain about everything

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head we're bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.

Always an excuse to get out of sex and a BJ. We put up with your monthly moodiness and monthly bitch sessions the least you can do is this!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
Hence what rubbing one off on your face is all about. if we jerk off without you or away from you then we get you dont love me shit or you are fantasizing about another female shit. So do your duty and take one for the team.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
Then trim us or put up with it. Simple fact when we are about to let loose and you stop for whatever selfcentered reason you have, then you are ruining it for us.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.
You rather we fall asleep. I can do that too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
We dont care how you learned how to do it. If you are doing it that is all that matters to us. Obviously you must need or want the praise from us. If a man asks you how you learned how then he is a fool!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.
Then learn to swallow quickly instead of holding in your mouth and running to bathroom or other side of room to spit. You will get rid of the taste quicker by swallowing

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
Awe, why not?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
Maybe for you, notus. It is a natural tendancy for the man that is getting it to rub it in. Once his companions are aware of your prowess and abilities they will only try to seek it further from their other half. only natural. You go and brag about how good or bad sex is and we shall do the same. Dont like it tough poo

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".
Just because you are awake in the morning does not mean we have to kiss you either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
A Man's thoughts on Fellatio aka Rebuttal Etiquette (by a male)
Usually what you want to hear.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
And they are out there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.
If you dont believe that then I suggest you try it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?
Haha Exactly. Not the most plesant sound or smell!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
Damn you do have a lot to be thankful for.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!
Another valid point!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me.
HAHA More like if you are losing all that blood aka protien then you need as much as you can get. I am only trying to help you out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.
Again if you dont think it is true then I suggest you get with your nearest lesbo friend and experience it first hand. Now there are some women that are not nasty tasting...thank god!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
haha

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
9. Play with the balls.
You should be doing that anyhow!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
usually true in most cases.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!
uhm... you can grasp it while doing it and use it as your handles to help in bringing us closer to you and our member deeper down your throat.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
12. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
You can either kiss it or climb on. You have your choice. (except that time of the month)



Quote:
Originally Posted by Fordqirl
13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
True there. You can either swallow or you can take it on your face, on your back, on your tits or up the ass. You have the choice when it is that time of the month
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Old 03-26-2004, 12:39   #7 (permalink)
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Re: BJ Etiquitte

*noted*

hahahah....nice work!
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Old 03-26-2004, 13:14   #8 (permalink)
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Re: BJ Etiquitte

kinding offering my body and time for tuitional purposes
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Old 03-26-2004, 18:09   #9 (permalink)
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Re: BJ Etiquitte

good work laurel... even better work lunatic...

haha...
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Old 03-26-2004, 18:22   #10 (permalink)
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Re: BJ Etiquitte

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmartion
good work laurel... even better work lunatic...

haha...
It was just a copy & paste
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