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Blonde
A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb
blonde. Her friend tells her "go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't
you learn all the state capitals or something?"
The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks
studying.
The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her.
She gets all indignant and claims, "I am NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can
name ALL the state capitals!"
The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her. He says "Okay,
what's the Capital of Queensland" The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and
says, "That's easy! It's Q!"
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There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and
offers to grant each one of them one wish.
The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into
brown haired woman and she swims off the island.
The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one. So,
instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. The black haired woman
builds a boat and sails off the island.
The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two.
The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.
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Did you hear about the blonde who ...
...Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.
...Can't learn to water ski because she says she can't find a lake with a
slope.
...Can't work in a pharmacy because somehow the bottles won't fit into the
typewriter.
...Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.
...Lost in a breaststroke swimming competition, then complained that the
other swimmers were using their arms.
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A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to
start with the basics. "So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?"
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before
replying "Ehhhh .. 22!"
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And
can you tell us your height, please?"
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag.
She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her
head. She checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot two!"
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. "And
ehh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?"
The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds,
mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, "Mandy!"
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage so he asks, "Just out of
curiosity, miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work
out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what
were you doing when we asked you your name?"
"Oh that," replies the blonde, "That's just me running through 'Happy
birthday to you, happy birthday to you...'"
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