BOSTON - Wicked Pissah
An oldie but goodie
Information on Boston and the surrounding area:
There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock
on Dock Square, no water on Water Street.
Back Bay streets are in alphabetical "oddah": Arlington, Berkeley,
Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc.
So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc. If the streets are named
after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill.
If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley.
Massachusetts Ave is Mass Ave; Commonwealth Ave is Comm Ave; South
Boston is Southie. The South End is the South End.
East Boston is Eastie. The North End is east of the former West End.
The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got
rid of them one night.
Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don't.
If it is fizzy and flavored, it's tonic.
Soda is CLUB SODA. "Pop!" is Dad.
When we want Tonic WATER, we will ask for Tonic WATER.
The smallest beer is a pint.
Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid more
than $6/pound, you got scrod.
It's not a water fountain; it's a bubblah.
It's not a trashcan; it's a barrel.
It's not a spucky; it's a sub.
It's not a shopping cart; it's a carriage.
It's not a purse; it's a pockabook. (no no no it's a BAG)
It's not a livingroom; it's a parlah- I had to add this one
They're not franks; they're haht dahgs. Franks are money in France.
Police don't drive patrol units or black and whites they drive a
If you take the bus, your on the "looza crooza".
It's not a rubber band, it's an elastic.
It's not a traffic circle, it's a rotary.
"Going to the islands" means Martha's Vineyard & Nantucket.
"Hitting the packi" does not mean punch a Pakistani...It means gotta go
to the package store ( they sell beer and liqueur there)
If something's good, it's "pissa". If something's really good, it's
The Pat's = The Patriots
The Sox = The Red Sox
The C's = The Celtics
The B's = The Bruins
Things not to do:
Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd B. they'll tow it to Meffa
(Medford) or Sumaville (Somerville).
Don't sleep in the Common. (Boston Common)
Don't wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.
Things you should know:
There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two
buildings (one old, one new for each).
The colored lights on top the old Hancock tell the weatha':
"Solid blue, clear view...."
"Flashing blue, clouds due...."
"Solid red, rain ahead...."
"Flashing red, snow instead...." - (except in summer - flashing
red means the Red Sox game was rained out)- I didn't know this!
Route 128 is also I-95 south. It's also I-93 north.
The underground train is not a subway. It's the "T", and it doesn't
run all night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).
Order the "cold tea" in China Town after 2:00 am you'll get a kettle
full of beer.
Bostonians think that it's their God-given right to cut off someone in
Bostonians think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet - no R.
Bostonians think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a
Bostonians refer to six inches of snow as a "dusting."
Bostonians always "bang a left" as soon as the light turns green, and
oncoming traffic always expects it.
Bostonians say everything in town is "a five-minute walk" pronounced
Bostonians believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.
Bostonians think that 63-degree ocean water is warm.
Bostonians...think Rhode Island accents are annoying.
How to say these Massachusetts city names correctly:
Dedham: Dedim (like denim)