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Old 10-26-2004, 20:20   #1 (permalink)
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A Cat's Diary

A Cat's Diary

DAY 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. I must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repel these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed.

DAY 765
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm... Not working according to plan.

DAY 768
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however, it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 770
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 773
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
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Old 10-26-2004, 21:25   #2 (permalink)
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Re: A Cat's Diary

absolutely love it!
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Old 10-26-2004, 21:47   #3 (permalink)
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Re: A Cat's Diary

sh!t that was funny,

i was picturing my cat writing such a diary. are there more entries???
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Old 10-27-2004, 00:08   #4 (permalink)
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Re: A Cat's Diary

hehehe thats kool :)
poor kitty
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Old 10-27-2004, 00:26   #5 (permalink)
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Re: A Cat's Diary

awesome.......probably how they think too.
*makes note to self: must pat cat more.*
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Old 10-27-2004, 01:05   #6 (permalink)
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Re: A Cat's Diary

Quote:
Originally Posted by davway
awesome.......probably how they think too.
*makes note to self: must pat cat more.*
is that the one in your avatar with the melon on its head
its pretty cute hehe
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Old 10-27-2004, 01:22   #7 (permalink)
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Re: A Cat's Diary

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pursuit_chick
is that the one in your avatar with the melon on its head
its pretty cute hehe
nah found that on the net. if i done that to my cat i would be bleeding severly!!
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Old 10-27-2004, 01:56   #8 (permalink)
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Re: A Cat's Diary

Hehe, love cat stories.

My cat fits that profile perfectly, shes perfected the death stare
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Old 10-27-2004, 02:14   #9 (permalink)
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Re: A Cat's Diary

ROFLMAO!!!!!

Not particularly hard to believe. Cats are clever little buggers. Much smarter than Dogs.
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Old 10-27-2004, 02:26   #10 (permalink)
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Re: A Cat's Diary

Day 765 is a cracker!
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