Chicken Soup For The Beer Drinker - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars
The Pub For General Discussion

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-12-03, 08:17 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
Falchoon's Avatar
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 3,544
Chicken Soup For The Beer Drinker

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." Jack Handy

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." Frank Sinatra


"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk in order to spend time with his friends." Ernest Hemingway
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." Henny Youngman
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
Stephen Wright

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" Brian O'Rourke

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." Dave Barry
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.

And, saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

"In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
Falchoon is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-12-03, 08:55 PM
Bourbon powered V8
JC-XR8's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Canberra, Australia.
Posts: 4,787
LMFAO - cheers!


AU1 XR8 Auto 147.9 rwkw (approx 215 fwkw)

AU2 Wagon HAD Auto
17s, Pacemakers, 3" Intake & Pod filter (The Family Hack)

Member of:
ATPS (honorary)
JC-XR8 is offline  
post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-12-03, 09:48 PM
Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Brisbane & Bundaberg
Posts: 33
Umm.... Beer!
Lionel Wagner is offline  
post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-12-03, 10:58 PM
Not a Twink
honer's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Perth, Australia
Age: 33
Posts: 1,086
I like beer :)
honer is offline  
post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-12-03, 11:46 PM
Ford Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 494
hahahha great post

the last one is gold
He|mut is offline  
post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-13-03, 01:24 AM
Wildlife Photographer
VanGelder's Avatar
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Adelaide, S.A.
Age: 36
Posts: 1,413
Amen to this thread ! I loooooooooooooooove beer !!
Cliff Clavin is a legend.

Please check out V8FREAKS.COM !
Be sure to drop a line !
VanGelder is offline  
post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-13-03, 08:37 PM
Faster than Zyrtec
dave_au's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Sydney.
Age: 33
Posts: 2,105
Here's one by Winston Churchill. After a rather nice drinking session at a party a lady (forgot her name, someone half famous) says "Winston, your Drunk!" to which Churchill responded "My dear, I may be drunk, but your ugly. And tomorrow morning I will wake up sober"
dave_au is offline  
post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-15-03, 12:05 AM
Not a Twink
honer's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Perth, Australia
Age: 33
Posts: 1,086
I got a few for yas...

"Drink triple, see double, and act single."

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. -- Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?" -- W.C. Fields

"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her." -- W.C. Fields
honer is offline  
Sponsored Links

  Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub
Gear in this thread - Powered by O'Reilly Auto Parts

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Beer and Ice Cream Diet Falchoon The Pub 1 01-18-04 08:06 PM
The Good old Chicken Joke (2003 ver.) Grunter The Pub 15 05-20-03 07:00 PM
Beer Troubleshooting Broady Boy The Pub 1 07-02-02 06:29 AM
Amercian brew wins top beer award Falchoon The Pub 4 05-31-02 01:31 AM
Joke Thread Marqman The Pub 23 09-30-01 12:54 PM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome