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Old 07-21-2004, 04:29   #1 (permalink)
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biggrin Council Complaints

Don't know if this has been posted before, but these are genuine from council complaint letters:

My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has back-fired and burnt my knob off.

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.

I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

Donno
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Old 07-21-2004, 04:33   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Council Complaints

PMSL good ones
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Old 07-21-2004, 04:43   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Council Complaints

lmao funny stuff good work
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Old 07-21-2004, 04:48   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Council Complaints

these sre the best :s5
I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has back-fired and burnt my knob off.

I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

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Old 07-21-2004, 04:55   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Council Complaints

HAHAHA... THEY ARE GREAT

i wondder whta hte counsil workers do with these letters?
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Old 07-21-2004, 04:59   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Council Complaints

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaD_WoG
HAHAHA... THEY ARE GREAT

i wondder whta hte counsil workers do with these letters?
Post them on the internet I would assume
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Old 07-21-2004, 05:12   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Council Complaints

very funny lmao
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Old 07-21-2004, 05:18   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Council Complaints



Some of them had me LOL (literally)!
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Old 07-21-2004, 06:50   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Council Complaints

HAHAHAHA. You know its REALLY funny when you laugh out loud on the computer (which isnt often). Great ones
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Old 07-21-2004, 16:48   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Council Complaints

Hehehe, they are excellent!
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