A couple of jokes - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars
Ford Forum Ford Forum

» Auto Insurance
» Featured Product
» Wheel & Tire Center

Go Back   Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub
Register Home Forum Active Topics Photo Gallery Auto Loans Garage Mark Forums Read Auto EscrowInsurance

The Pub For General Discussion

FordForums.com is the premier Ford Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-21-2002, 16:00   #1 (permalink)
FPV-Tickford club NSW
 
stretch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: kryspy Kremes glazing donuts..
Posts: 128
A couple of jokes

Steve was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both his ears.
Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and
went on his way. One day he decided to invest his money in a small but growing telecom business. And,
after eight weeks of negotiations, he bought the company outright. But, after signing on the dotted
line, he realized that he knew nothing about running such a business and quickly set out to hire
someone who could do that for him. The next day he had set up 3 interviews. The first guy was great.
He knew everything he needed to and was very interesting. But at the end of the interview, Steve asked
him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" The gentleman answered, "Why yes, I couldn't help but
notice you have no ears." Steve got very angry and threw him out. The second interview was with a woman,
and she was even better than the first guy. But he asked her the same question "Do you notice anything
different about me?" She replied, "Well you have no ears." Steve again was upset and tossed her out. The
third and last interview was the best of the three. It was a very young man fresh out of college. He
was smart. He was handsome. And he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together.
Steve was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question, "Do you notice anything
different about me?" And to his surprise, the young man answered, "Yes -- you wear contact lenses."
Steve was shocked and said, "What an incredibly observant young man. How did you know that?" The young
man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, " Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with
no f@#king ears!"





Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable
words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Little Johnny waves his
hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!' Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your
multi-syllable word?' Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.' Miss Rogers smiles and says,
'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.' Little Johnny says,
'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blow-job".





One day, Pauline Hanson is being chauffeured to a One Nation rally in the Queensland outback,
when her driver swerves to avoid a pot hole and hits a cow on the side of the road, killing it
instantly. When they arrive at their destination, Pauline suggests to the driver that he should
go back to the farm house and apologise for the accident and offer to pay for the damages. Three
hours later, the driver returns, with all his clothes torn, holding a bottle of wine in one hand,
a Cuban cigar in the other, and swaying left to right as he walked. Pauline asks the driver
"Please explain?" "Well, the farmer gave me this bottle, his wife gave me this cigar, and his
beautiful 19 year old daughter made passionate love to me!" "Bloody hell - what did you tell them?"
"I said, Hi, I'm Pauline Hanson's driver and I just killed the cow!"
__________________
NEVER PLAY LEAP FROG WITH A UNICORN !!!!
stretch is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 06-21-2002, 20:45   #2 (permalink)
Cobra188
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
killin' meself stretch ... ROFLMAO

Little Johnny goes to school and the teacher says, "Class, today we are going to learn how to put those multi-syllable words into sentences. Now can anyone give me a word and show how to use it in a sentence?"

Little Johnny jumps up straight away, "Me Miss, Me".

The teacher being a little hesitant asked if anyone else had word but it seems no-one did so she saod "Allright Johnny, what is your word?"

"Ure - n - ate" says Little Johnny.

"And how would you use that in a sentence", asks the teacher.

"Miss, urenate, but my Dad says you'd be a ten if you had bigger tits"
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2002, 03:44   #3 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Kenaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Melbourne
Age: 32
Posts: 2,061
Brilliant! great stuff guys.
Kenaz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2002, 19:04   #4 (permalink)
FM
The SparkleHunter™
 
FM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Gettin' ready for MiniChucky!
Age: 38
Posts: 10,144
Keep the jokes clean please. We have a donating members forum for jokes like these.
If you have any questions re: jokes then PM me, DK, russ or laminge.
__________________
Chucky's saying of the month- Finish your beer! There are sober kiddies in Ethiopia.."
Another BSR BigCall™
--------------------------------------
FordForums Polo Shirts & Caps are now on sale.. Get both for $50.00 + postage. Click here for details!
FM is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

  Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
A couple more jokes KenOath The Pub 10 06-07-2004 17:44
a couple of lame jokes Night_Lurker The Pub 4 10-01-2003 20:07
jokes for the fellas Futura97 The Pub 0 12-18-2002 18:26
Amazing Talking Parakeet Jokes About Pontiac Giving Off Too Much Bad Air ryanr The Pub 0 06-21-2002 09:13
The world's funniest joke? Falchoon The Pub 4 12-20-2001 02:25

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 14:18.



Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0
Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.