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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-15-04, 03:29 PM Thread Starter
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Couple of jokes

Had to share these two...



The Rancher's Widow

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She

was a very good looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but

knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the

newspaper for a ranch hand. Two men applied for the job. One was gay and

the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she

decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him

around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put

in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the

two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the

rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job

and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

However one o'clock came and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired

hand. He returned around two-thirty and upon entering the room, he found

the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as

she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each

gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He

slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra."

Again with trembling hands he did as he was told and dropped it to the

floor. Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire,

he slowly pulled them down and off.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town

again, I'll fire you on the spot."



Who's the fastest?

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.

The first one says, "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow."

The second one says, "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet."

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says, "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a public servant. He
finishes work at 16:51 and he is home by 14:45!"


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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-15-04, 04:21 PM
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Re: Couple of jokes

Hahaha nice ones!

Love the first one!

Would you like to change your name to Homer Junior? People can call you Hoju.
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-15-04, 05:08 PM
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Re: Couple of jokes

pearlers

first one especially

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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-15-04, 05:46 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Couple of jokes

The first one is good, but, being in the public service (computers, not policy lol) the second one nearly killed me when I got it....too funny in the pubes...


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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-15-04, 06:00 PM
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Re: Couple of jokes

Very good. The first one is a killer

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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-16-04, 12:53 AM
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Re: Couple of jokes

Haha that second one is gold!
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-16-04, 02:17 AM
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Re: Couple of jokes

the first one is great

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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-16-04, 03:22 AM
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Re: Couple of jokes

Haha both are great

Ben
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-16-04, 04:14 AM
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Re: Couple of jokes

lol good stuff, loved them both

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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-16-04, 04:14 AM
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Re: Couple of jokes

Liked the first one

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