Just give me an excuse...
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: struct melbourne hallam;
a couple of lame jokes
A man suspected his wife of seeing another man so he hired a
famous Chinese detective to watch and report any activities while he
was gone. A few days later he received this report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house. I watch house.
He comes to house. I watch.
He and she leave house. I follow.
He and she get on train. I follow.
He and she go in hotel. I climb tree-look in window.
He kiss she. She kiss he.
He strip she. She strip he.
He play with she. She play with he.
I play with ME.
Fall out of tree, not see.
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most
of us sitting here, years ago. "Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your
stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be
disastrous, andnone of us realizes the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it."
"Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief
and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said,
Truly the deepest kiss one can feel, and the one most sought after, is the one you will not survive....