Cows - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars
Ford Forum Ford Forum

» Auto Insurance
» Featured Product
ยป Wheel & Tire Center

Go Back   Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub
Register Home Forum Active Topics Photo Gallery Auto Loans Garage Mark Forums Read Auto Escrow

The Pub For General Discussion

FordForums.com is the premier Ford Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-30-2002, 18:53   #1 (permalink)
a little bit sideways
 
rsgerry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: in a ditch
Posts: 1,258
Smile Cows

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows.
> You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> You sell the herd and retire on the income.
>
> ENRON CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows.
> You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
> credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
> debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
> four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of
> the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
> company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights
> to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says
> the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to
> buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No
> balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You
> are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
> produce twenty times the milk. You then create irritating cow cartoon
> images called Cowkimon and market them world-wide at a fantastic profit.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
> milk themselves.
>
> AN ENGLISH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> Both are mad.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
> You break for lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You count them and learn you have five cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
> You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION
> You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
> You charge others for storing them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You have 300 people milking them.
> You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
> newsman who reported the numbers.
>
> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> The younger one is rather attractive
__________________
You wash your car like it was your firstborn child, you tend to its needs like it was your own body, you protect it like it's your family, then you drive it like you stole it.

Weapons of rice destruction

2002 Ford Falcon AU3 XR6
1985 Ford Sierra XR4i
1980 Ford Escort RS2000
rsgerry is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 05-31-2002, 03:24   #2 (permalink)
Two SC 61's = trouble
 
ebxr8240's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Penrith,nswAus/Morrinville.NZ
Age: 60
Posts: 6,360
I was waiting for the Kiwi to come into it...

Cows yes pulling tits for a living...
__________________
Don't be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark...Professionals built the Titanic!
.
Tuned & maintained by "Peppertree Perfmormance". Dart block, Scat 4340 steel crank, Custom C.P pistons.Oliver rods.. Mal Wood twin plate clutch.. Twin SC61/2's,482 rwkw/ 645 rwhp..
Passengers, myocardial infarction material..
R.I.P Possum...
ebxr8240 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2002, 05:14   #3 (permalink)
BSR Twin System (tm)
 
smciner1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: The TQE (tm) Plant.
Age: 40
Posts: 4,751
ROFAPMSL!!!!

What's ENRON?
__________________
Falcon G.T. Club of Geelong Inc.
Deakin University Formula SAE Car PHANTOM ENGINEERING
LSUG (Leaf Spring Users Group) Twin System Engineer
Official BSR Website - www.bsrcorp.com
Poster of the 150,000th post!
BSR "DARTH HELMET (tm)"
Marcos Ambrose & SBR, 2003 & 2004 V8SUPERCAR Champions

****ADSLSUPERFASTP0RNPIPE (tm)****
smciner1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2002, 05:52   #4 (permalink)
Drunk Irishman
 
Irish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 251
Quote:
What's ENRON?
enron was a big company in the US that went bust. Kinda like HIH over here.
Irish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-03-2002, 03:12   #5 (permalink)
Two SC 61's = trouble
 
ebxr8240's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Penrith,nswAus/Morrinville.NZ
Age: 60
Posts: 6,360
They took over all the electric co. in California and some.Went broke and left Cal without power.They had there sights on buying in N.S.W elecricity generation and supply as well...
__________________
Don't be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark...Professionals built the Titanic!
.
Tuned & maintained by "Peppertree Perfmormance". Dart block, Scat 4340 steel crank, Custom C.P pistons.Oliver rods.. Mal Wood twin plate clutch.. Twin SC61/2's,482 rwkw/ 645 rwhp..
Passengers, myocardial infarction material..
R.I.P Possum...
ebxr8240 is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

  Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
cows HSE2 The Pub 1 03-12-2002 19:49
joke HSE2 The Pub 68 08-22-2001 18:07

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 23:59.



Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0
Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.