Cows
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows.
> You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> You sell the herd and retire on the income.
>
> ENRON CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows.
> You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
> credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
> debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
> four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of
> the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
> company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights
> to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says
> the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to
> buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No
> balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You
> are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
> produce twenty times the milk. You then create irritating cow cartoon
> images called Cowkimon and market them world-wide at a fantastic profit.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
> milk themselves.
>
> AN ENGLISH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> Both are mad.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
> You break for lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You count them and learn you have five cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
> You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION
> You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
> You charge others for storing them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You have 300 people milking them.
> You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
> newsman who reported the numbers.
>
> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> The younger one is rather attractive
__________________
You wash your car like it was your firstborn child, you tend to its needs like it was your own body, you protect it like it's your family, then you drive it like you stole it.
Weapons of rice destruction
2002 Ford Falcon AU3 XR6
1985 Ford Sierra XR4i
1980 Ford Escort RS2000
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