Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Castlemaine Vic
Cuppla ol jokes
An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are
deeply in love. However, no matter what the husband does
sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. His wife demands
sexual pleasure, so they decide to ask the rabbi for advice.
The rabbi listens to their story and makes the following
"Hire a strapping young man and while the two of you are
making love, have him wave a towel over you as though he is
fanning you both. Make sure he is totally naked and she can
see his manhood as he fans you both with the towel. That will
help the wife fantasize and should bring on a full blown
They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a
handsome young man and he strips off and enthusiastically
waves a towel over them both as they make love. But it doesn't
help and still the wife is unsatisfied and frustrated.
Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi.
"Okay", says the rabbi, "let's try it reversed. Have the young
man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."
Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets
into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The
hired hand really works with great enthusiasm, and the wife
soon has an enormous, room-shaking, screaming, creaming
Smiling, the husband drops the towel, taps the young man on
the shoulder and says to him, triumphantly: "THAT'S how you
wave a towel!"
Three Labrador retrievers (chocolate, yellow and black colored) are
sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when
they strike up a conversation.
The black lab turns to the chocolate and says, "So why are you
here?" He replies, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything -- the
sofa, the drapes, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night,
when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
The black lab says, "So what is the vet going to do?"
"Gonna give me Prozac", came the reply from the chocolate lab.
"All the vets are prescribing it. It works for everything."
He then turns to the yellow lab and asks, "Why are you here?"
The yellow lab says, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up
flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm
inside, I dig up the carpets. But I crossed the line last night when I
dug a great big hole in my owner's couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired.
"Looks like Prozac for me too", the dejected yellow lab said.
The yellow lab then turns to the black lab and asks what
he's at the vet's office for.
"I'm a humper", the black lab says. "I'll hump anything. I'll
hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want
to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just gotten out of the
shower and was bending down to dry her toes and I
just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started humping
The yellow and chocolate labs exchange a sad glance and say,
"So, Prozac for you too, huh?"
The black lab says, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."
Every day above ground is a good day