Originally Posted by 3Toed
Darwin Awards are for people who kill themselves in the most stupid ways
or remove themselve's from the gene pool of human evolution, ie sterilisation would suffice. Like the 2002? winner:
The last nominee for this year's Darwin Award (awarded to people for incredible feats of mental lapses whose demise aids in improving the gene pool) goes to...
1. Based on a bet by the other members of his foursome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine.
Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch.
Unfortunately for Sanchez, The height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link.
Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between thehousing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside.
To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome was asked to leave the course.
Now, obviously, this last nominee did not expire; however, since
he is forever sterilized, the nominating committee believed he warranted an opportunity in this year's competition.