Dear God - From the Dog - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars
The Pub For General Discussion

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 12-05-04, 06:09 PM Thread Starter
Green's Tuff!
Heritage's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Wonthaggi, Victoria
Age: 42
Posts: 802
Dear God - From the Dog


Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it
the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for
dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice
Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy
fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
- to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
the way they smell.

3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although
they are

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.. neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house
- not

13. I will not throw up in the car. EVER.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch
we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes
noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, My last question . . .

Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
Heritage is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 12-05-04, 06:11 PM Thread Starter
Green's Tuff!
Heritage's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Wonthaggi, Victoria
Age: 42
Posts: 802
Re: Dear God - From the Dog

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too
busy to give you any time.
If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than an poor friend,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no
prejudice against creed, color, religion or politics,
THEN, my friend, you are almost as good as your dog.

Author Unknown
Heritage is offline  
Sponsored Links

  Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub
Gear in this thread - Powered by O'Reilly Auto Parts

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
oh dear XMU2drescue Inline 6 Tech 11 06-06-04 08:42 AM
Oh dear, this is soooo funny!!! Casper The Pub 22 05-13-04 06:00 PM
Dear Santa laminge The Pub 10 11-18-03 03:59 AM
Dear Ford... RPO83 The Pub 19 06-17-03 07:09 AM
Dear Tech Support.... Discovery The Pub 7 06-19-02 02:33 AM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome