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Discovery · 06-17-2002, 21:30

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that
the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules,
limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA
3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail.

From --Desperate ---

Dear Desperate,
Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0
is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME
and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run
the applications Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can
cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence
2.5, Happyhour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will
create "Snoring Loudly" wave files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or
reinstall another Boyfriend program.
These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional
software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and
Lingerie 5.3.
Also, running Nagging 5.3 too often can sometimes cause Husband 1.0 to
secretly install Mistress 1.0, which would then require you to run
PrivateInvestigator 7.5 utility and possibly even Attorney 9.0, which could
lead to a system wide failure and the need to reboot Husband 1.0!

Tech support.

Venom XR · 06-17-2002, 21:38

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker night 10.3 and Beer Bash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can not seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 but uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me? - Gone Crazy

Dear Gone Crazy - This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. WARNING DO NOT TRY TO: uninstall, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. Trying to un-install Wife 1.0 can be disastrous. Doing so may destroy your hard and/or floppy drive. Trying to uninstall or remove Wife 1.0 will destroy valuable system resources. You can not go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 6.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under Warnings- Alimony/Child Support. Others have tried to run Girlfriend 5.0 in the background, while Wife 1.0 is running. Eventually Wife 1.0 detects Girlfriend 5.0 and a system conflict occurs, this can lead to a non recoverable system crash. Some users have tried to download similar products such as Fling and 1NiteStand. Often their systems have become infected with a virus. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.

Suggestions for improved operation of Wife 1.0 - Monthly use utilities such as TLC and FTD - Frequently use Communicator 5.0

KenOath · 06-17-2002, 22:09

Quick response Venom XR !!

smciner1 · 06-18-2002, 02:00

I have seen the Girlfriend 1.0 before, but not the Boyfriend 5.0. Jeez it is funny!!!!

:MUha:

FordLover · 06-18-2002, 02:29

hehe thats good.
but im still searching for girlfriend 1.0

dragonV8 · 06-18-2002, 16:14

Quote:

Originally posted by FordLover
hehe thats good.
but im still searching for girlfriend 1.0

As you can see from all the above, not having girlfriend 1.0 installed, prevents a lot of problems.
You'll find that when girlfriend 1.0 has been installed on your system, with frequent upgrades for improved performance, out of the blue it will not work very well, making you install wife 1.0.

After a few upgrades of this your system will end up having a mind of it's own and what ever logic you try and use will not work.

So as you can see, "still searching for girlfriend 1.0" isn't that bad as it stops you from having sleepless nights wondering what the hell you've done wrong.

211 · 06-18-2002, 20:43

A woman rushes home, bursting through the front door of her house yelling to her husband

"Pack your bags honey, I just won the lottery! All 10 million dollars of it ...... Woooo hooooo!!!"

"That's just great sweetie," he replies. "Do I pack for the beach or the mountains?"

"Who cares?" she replies. "Just f@$# off".

smciner1 · 06-19-2002, 01:33

Quote:

Originally posted by FordLover
hehe thats good.
but im still searching for girlfriend 1.0

In the interum, try installing "MICROSOFT DESKJACK 2000 (tm)"

:MUha: