The Defective Parrot
A guy decides that maybe he would like to buy a pet, so as you do he goes to a pet shop. After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It did not have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud “gee I wonder what happened to this parrot.”
“I was born this way,” says the parrot. “Im a defective parrot”
“HA HA HA” the guy laughs, “it sounds like this parrot actually understands what I said”
“I understand every word,” says the parrot “im a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird”
“Yeah?” the guy asks “ then answer this: how do you manage to hang onto your perch with no legs or feet?”
“Well, ” the parrot says, “ this is a little bit embarrassing, but since you asked ill tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook, you cant see it coz of my feathers”
“Wow” says the guy “you really can understand and answer cant you.”
“Of course I can. My owner trained me from a hatchling. He was a scholar. You ought to buy me, I am a great companion”
The guy looks at the $200 price tag. He says, “I can’t afford that”
“Psst” the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one wing.
“Nobody wants me because I don’t have any feet. You can get me for $20, just make an offer.”
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He’s funny, interesting, he’s a great pal, he understands everything, sympathises, gives good advise.
The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot says “psst”, motioning him over with one wing. The guy goes up close to the cage.
“I don’t know weather I should tell you this or not.” Says the parrot “but it’s about your wife and the mailman.”
“What?! ” says the guy?
“When the mailman came to the door today your wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth.”
“what happened then” asks the guy
“Then the mailman came into the house and lifted up the nightgown and began petting her all over,” reports the parrot.
“My god” the guy says “then what?.”
“Then he took off her nightgown, got down on his knees and began to lick her body, starting with her breasts slowly going down and down.”
Then the parrot pauses for a long time…..
“What happened? What happened?” says the frantic guy
“I don’t know,” says the parrot “I got a hardon and fell off my perch!!”