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Old 09-07-2004, 08:01   #1 (permalink)
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Dr Nick Riviera's Dietary Advice

not aure if this a repost or not.


Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain... Good.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
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Old 09-07-2004, 08:25   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Dr Nick Riviera's Dietary Advice

Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combines with assal horizotology.

You'll want to focus on the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group, and the chocotastic!

If you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, its your window to weight-gain! Bye bye, everybody!
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Old 09-07-2004, 14:45   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Dr Nick Riviera's Dietary Advice

Did anyone elses brain automatically read that in Dr Nick Riviera's voice or just me? Damn thats a worry!
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Old 09-07-2004, 14:59   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Dr Nick Riviera's Dietary Advice

LOL your not alone mate!
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Old 09-07-2004, 15:18   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Dr Nick Riviera's Dietary Advice

Yep I read it in his voice too. It started like "Hi Everybody"
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Old 09-07-2004, 15:33   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Dr Nick Riviera's Dietary Advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gunns
Yep I read it in his voice too. It started like "Hi Everybody"
"Hi doctor Nick" dial 1800 D-O-C-T-O-R-B
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Old 09-07-2004, 15:50   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Dr Nick Riviera's Dietary Advice

Yeah I must admit I read that with his voice...
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Old 09-07-2004, 15:55   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Dr Nick Riviera's Dietary Advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by blackout
Yeah I must admit I read that with his voice...
Yep me too
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Old 09-07-2004, 17:14   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Dr Nick Riviera's Dietary Advice

same here, this is quite sad
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Old 09-07-2004, 17:37   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Dr Nick Riviera's Dietary Advice

yep, I too read it hearing his voice haha
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