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Etiquette Tips For Rednecks
Etiquette Tips For Rednecks
GENERAL:
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
DINING OUT: When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup,
and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME: A centerpiece for the table should never be
anything prepared by a taxidermist.
PERSONAL HYGIENE: While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job
that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
DATING (Outside the Family-This Is Important!): Establish with her
parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others
might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's
responsibility to get her to school on time.
THEATER ETIQUETTE: Refrain from talking to characters on the screen.
Tests have proven they can't hear you.
WEDDINGS: Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.
DRIVING ETIQUETTE: When sending your wife down the road with a gas can,
it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
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