A few more
An attractive young woman had finished taking golf lessons from the club pro. She?d just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. The pain was so intense she decided to return to the clubhouse.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, "Why are you back so early? What’s wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee," was her reply.
"Where?" he asked.
... "Between the first and second hole."
He nodded knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."
"Hello, is this here the Sheriff’s Office?"
"Yes. What can I do for you?"
"I’m calling to report my neighbor, Virgil Smith. He’s drillin" holes in his farwood and hiding marijuana inside!"
Thank you very much for the call sir."
The next day, the Sheriff & his deputies descend on Virgil’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they split every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.
The phone rings at Virgil’s house.
"Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?"
"Did they split yer farwood?"
"Happy Birthday, buddy!"
(Who says rednecks aren’t real bright?!)