A family of Collingwood supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting. While in Rebel sports, the son picks up an Essendon football jumper and says to his 20 year old sister "I've decided to become a Bomber supporter i would like this for Christmas".
His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him around the head with her carton of Winfield and says, "Go talk to Mum". Off goes the little lad with Essendon jumper in hand to find his Mum.
"Mum?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided to be an Essendon supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas".
The mother is outraged by this and throws her moccasins and full V.B. tinnie at him, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Lets go talk to your father".
Off they go to Pentridge during visiting hours and find Dazza, his Dad. "Dad?"
"Yes son"?.
"I've decided to be an Essendon supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas". The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head with his fists and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in "THAT" and then kicks him from one end of the room to the other for good measure.
About half an hour later they're all heading back home to Reservoir in the HQ. The mother turns to her son and says "Son I hope you have learnt something today"
The son says "Yes I have".
"Good son what is it.".
The son replies "I've only been an Essendon supporter for 3 hours and I already Hate you Collingwood Mongrels"!!!!.
__________________ Slothmobile™n. (slōthmōbēl)
Off-white EL Series II Falcon GLi Sapphire (4.0L Slothmatic™) with K&N Filtercharger, Tickford Sports Suspension, DBA Longlife Gold (front), DBA Longlife Slotted (rear) and Bendix Ultimates all round. Driven by The Slothman™.
Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse got word of a potential young recruit who lived in Iraq. He and recruiting officer Noel Judkins flew to war-torn Baghdad and tracked the young boy down. They risked life and limb, dodging bombs, bullets and grenades, but finally found him and convinced him to come to Australia.
The boy did a full pre-season, played all the practice matches, then played for Williamstown before getting picked on the bench for his debut in the preliminary final. Just 10 minutes into the opening quarter, Chris Tarrant pulled a hamstring. Malthouse turned to the boy and said: "This is it son, go to centre half-forward and show us what you can do."
The boy made the greatest debut in AFL history. He took 15 marks, including the mark of the year, and booted nine goals including the winning one from outside 50m. The Pies cheered their new hero off the ground and gave him three cheers back in the rooms. Malthouse told the team what the Iraqi had been through and that he was a role model for all of them. Malthouse then pulled the boy aside and said "Go into my office son, ring your mother and her what you did today."
The boy rang home and said: "Mum, guess what I did today."
"I don't care what you did today," his mother snapped. "I'll tell you what happened here today. Your father was stabbed and robbed, our house torched, our car blown up, your sister assaulted and your brother abducted."
"Gee," said the boy, "I feel a bit responsible for what happened."
The mother replied: "So you should. If it wasn't for you, we would never have shifted to Collingwood."
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