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Old 08-26-2001, 21:13   #1 (permalink)
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Location: Vic
Age: 41
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Ford Horoscopes for 2002

Inspired by another thread, and the fact I don't feel like doing any actual work today, I came up with these. :D

Virgo
Aug 23 - Sept 22
The service manager at your local Ford dealer applys for a restraining order as you attempt to take back your AU Fairmont for it's 48th warranty job, as the car still isn't perfect.

Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 23
You buy a white stock Forte with no visible options, as you want to avoid street light drags at all costs.

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
You haven't told a single person that you've recently added twin turbos and NOS to your XR8 Rebel, and plan to do Putty Road at an average speed of 100km/h. If you succeed, your Commodore-driving mates will never call you 'chicken' again.

Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
After owning a Toyotas, Mitsubishis, Holdens and a BMW, you're determined to find out if the altar of Ford is path to enlightenment.

Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
You don't care Ford are developing quad cam 5.4l V8s, you will get your 351ci EA Falcon on the road eventually.

Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
You buy a Ford Ka, because you know it's a lot more fuel efficient, and creates less pollution than the XR6 you really wanted - though you're unhappy it doesn't come with a factory LPG option.

Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
You fall into a deep depression after the limited edition 260kW XR8 Falcon is released 2 weeks after you bought a 220kW XR8. 4 weeks later, you buy a Herrod stroker kit, and the world really is a better place.

Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
You send your fourth letter to Ford Australia HQ demanding the AV GT Falcon is released now, as you've already got the deposit. Your best mate hasn't stopped gloating about his getting his HSV Coupe before you, you NEED that GT now!

Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
You're still working on your supercharged, 5.7l AU2 XR8, because you're convinced Ford will never produce it - or do it as good as you!

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
You still can't decide between the XR6 VCT and the XR6 HP. One side of you wants the IRS and the extra horsepower, but the other side of you wants quicker 1/4 mile times, and throwing the arse end out at will. 100 posts to 5 different Ford forums still hasn't convinced you either way.

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
You send your new XR8 straight to the re-trimmers to have the seats done with the same leather as your lounge at home. You spend more time on the side of the road watching DVD's in your REX unit than you spend driving...

Leo
July 23 - Aug 22
After adding 20" chrome wheels, XR8 Supercar rear wing, Peregrine body kit, respraying in the latest PPG colour and completely retrimming the interior, you're still not happy with your SR Falcon and go looking for bonnet vents and a pair of fuzzy dice.
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Old 08-26-2001, 21:44   #2 (permalink)
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Oi, BACK OFF the Leo's alright mate!
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Old 08-26-2001, 22:18   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Ford Horoscopes for 2002

Quote:
Originally posted by Venom S

Scorpio
Oct 24 - Nov 21
You haven't told a single person that you've recently added twin turbos and NOS to your XR8 Rebel, and plan to do Putty Road at an average speed of 100km/h. If you succeed, your Commodore-driving mates will never call you 'chicken' again.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...:D :D :D
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