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Old 01-04-2003, 04:08   #1 (permalink)
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Funny Apprentice tales

I've heard of some funny stuff that Mechanics do to apprentices.
Like one fella here in Bathurst that I went to TAFE with was sent out to go get a "Can of Compression" the joke compounded as he went to bout 3 shops till someone told him to go back with an old can with "compression" sticky taped to it.
Then a few weeks later he was sent to go and get a bottle of "Reverse Gear Oil" same thing happened, poor bastard, but still was hella funny at the time!
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Old 01-04-2003, 13:09   #2 (permalink)
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Geez, entertainment is cheap when you live in Bathurst eh? Tell me, what do they do out further ... like around Dubbo or beyond?
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Old 01-04-2003, 16:01   #3 (permalink)
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i sent the apprentice out once to get a fallopian tube for a volvo carby once. sent him to the local autopro who then sent him to repco who then sent him the wreckers. by this time my phone was running hot with laughter. he eventually returned from the wreckers with a piece of washer hose, a valve stuck up one end and a fitting on the other, along with an invoice. feeling proud that he`d found it he said to me "shit these falllopian tubes must be hard to get, i went everywhere in town" LOL. later that day i sent him back with the tube and invoice for a credit and explain to the wreckers that we couldnt possibly use it as the fallopian tubes were blocked. poor bastard. he`s now a top qualified mechanic.
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Old 01-04-2003, 16:09   #4 (permalink)
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There was a bloke here in canberra that apparently had a fairly big todger and was quite happy to get it out and scare the odd apprentice.

Quite a few apprentices were sent to his workshop looking for a '12 inch populating tool'.
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Old 01-04-2003, 16:16   #5 (permalink)
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i`ve also sent the `prentice looking for the 6 inch snatch reamer as his wasnt big enough.
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Old 01-05-2003, 00:48   #6 (permalink)
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yeah one of they guys at work gets all the new apprentices with this one, not even really funny until you are there, but he gets a jack under the car and jacks it up, then humms and harrrs and buggerises about with a set of stands for a while and then says "these stands arent big enough, can you go get a long stand for a VT commodore from the storeman?"

so the apprentice goes to the storeman and the storeman sends him to spare parts, spare parts (in on the joke) sends him back to tell the storeman he is a fool and he has one, the storeman tells the apprentice the same thing and to go back to spares...
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Old 01-05-2003, 01:29   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by T3man
Geez, entertainment is cheap when you live in Bathurst eh? Tell me, what do they do out further ... like around Dubbo or beyond?
Hey, we gotta fill in the time when the racecars aren't in town somehow
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Old 01-05-2003, 05:11   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Funny Apprentice tales

Quote:
Originally posted by MoNoXiDe

Like one fella here in Bathurst that I went to TAFE with was sent out to go get a "Can of Compression"

i am ashamed to admit that i had this played on me, but i was only about 13 or 14 and helping someone out! relised pretty qucik though when i thought about it.

A bloke i knew who was a motor bike mechanic apprentice in adelaide was tied to the roof of the work shop for most of the day.

also on a serious note, an apprentice at holdens a long time ago was apparently killed when a air gun was stuck up his "dont go there area". we were told this when we were mucking around with one.

has anyone else heard kevin bloody wilsons song "the apprentice" absolutely hilerious!
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Old 01-05-2003, 16:17   #9 (permalink)
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See - sometimes i think i'd love to get out of the IT industry and into cars (I love working with my hands on highly technical pieces of equipment - as such I don't work at any ole' PC vendor). However its bastardry like this that keeps me out of it. Basically thinking that the only way to learn about cars/engines and anything mechanical that goes in would be to buy my own shitbox to keep in the garage and pull it apart and put it back together.
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Old 01-05-2003, 16:26   #10 (permalink)
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My Old Man has an engineering shop, and along with all the normal jokes about Welding Sparks, Sky Hooks and left handed screwdrivers, there was one classic that comes to mind.

We just had a new Apprentice start. He thought he was Gods gift to women. So, over lunch one day, my Dad starts talking about our Tradesmans sister coming to town. The apprentice ears popped up like a horny dog. During the next couple of days, we kept telling the apprentice that this girl was stunning. So he started asking the Tradesman about her. Now, the tradesman was a 6ft tall, 3ft wide Italian. Big guy.

So, a couple of days later the apprentice asks the tradesman if he could take his sister out. He said sure, no problem.

We told the apprentice that he should take her out dancing, as she likes that. So, the next day, the tradesman asks the apprentice where he wants to take her. He says to the local nightclub for a night of dancing.

The tradesman pipes up and goes off his nut. "What the hell are you on about, do you have no morals???" The apprentice starts cowering and says whats wrong with dancing?

Nothing wrong with dancing he yells, but my sister has no Fu@king LEGS!!! and picks up a shifter and throws it at him.

The apprentice does a runner up the road. For the next couple of days, the apprentice stays on the other side of the shed from him, shit scared.

Then my Dad made them come clean with the apprentice, as no work was getting done. The tradesman told him that he had no sister, and it was all a joke.

It was pretty funny that week at work.
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