funny car post
I was emailed this by someone the otherday, it is to do with a car game and im sure you will all get a laugh out of this.
"Dear God NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
That's what I was repeatedly screaming late last night.
You see, I was subjected to one of the WORST tortures I have EVER experienced...I would rather have been having testicular surgery performed on me in a 3rd world country by a one-eyed boot maker who has a TERRIBLE case of crippling Parkinson's all night long instead of what I went thru...
I've mentioned lots of times that me and my friends do really strange things and one of the "traditions" that has been going on since high school has been playing, "Kidnapped" and what that game is, in short, is that however many of us there are we split up into teams.
One of the members of Team A is the 'captive' of Team B and they have to get into the trunk of the car of Team B.
The 'captive' of Team A gets a walkie talkie that's connected to driver of Team A and vice versa for Team B.
'Captive of Team B' has a walkie talkie that's connected to the driver of Team B and they're in the trunk of Team A.
These cars have to chase each other and the goal of the game is to get one of the other Teams into a non-escapable position within the city (alleyway, dead-end, etc.) and whoever the aggressor was is the winner.
The people in the trunks have to give directions to where they THINK they are in the city by communicating with their team member via walkie talkie and telling them, "Okay, we're turning right now...now we're going straight...I feel a bumpy road, I hear a train, we're going over tracks..."
Stuff like that.
The 'outline' of the chase is pre-determined so there's no real danger...we pick specific areas of the city that we're only allowed to drive in (east side, upper west side, etc...) and the first car gets a 10 minute head start.
We usually only do this very late at night when there are hardly any cars out, so it's still kind of safe.
Well, I thought so too UNTIL...someone put a B*Witched cd in...
and left that stupid song, "C'est la vie" on a ****ing loop!!!
Usually I'm the driver or at least in the car, but I thought it would be fun to be in the trunk since I haven't been 'captive' for a long time and haven't even played the game for a while...sweet Jesus, how stupid I was.
I was REALLY captured!!! I couldn't stop them from playing that shit!!!
Team A had that song cranked sooooooo loud and they played it even louder when that stupid folk violin solo started up!
Another part of the game is for your 'captors' to create as much distraction and try to NOT let you have contact with your other team mates...so they'll usually drive around in circles in a cul-de-sac or a parking lot or something and then start out in another direction to confuse you or they'll play music really loud so your team mates can't hear you.
All the driver of Team A could hear is "Say you will, say you won't, say you'll do what I don't. Say the truth, say to me, c'est la vie" and occasionally he would hear me screaming for help and begging to die.
What kind of sick bastard would get that cd intentionally?
Sure the girls are cute and all, but --- good god.
I can't get that song out of my head now...
"Some people say I look like me dad."
"Are you serious?"
In hindsight it was funny and damn good strategy because my team lost and they taught me not take such a long time off from "keeping in touch", I can't wait until we play again.
I'm already searching Napster for the most annoying songs I can find...I'm thinking Wesley Willis' "Rock&Roll McDonalds" chorus or if I can find that high screeching sound when they do the emergency broadcast testing, that would be the gold mine right there!
Kids---don't play this game at home.
Because...well, a car can't fit in your house and if it could you really couldn't go anywhere with it.