Funny Quotes - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars
The Pub For General Discussion

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-12-02, 01:11 AM Thread Starter
Nacho Nacho Man!
 
Venom XR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Vic
Age: 42
Posts: 3,514
Funny Quotes

"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."
* Author Unknown

"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
* Jeff Foxworthy

"What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?"
* Marilyn Pittman

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."
* Bob Ettinger

"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim."
* Paula Poundstone

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through eating a fish burger and I realize, Oh my Goodness.... I could be eating a slow learner."
* Lynda Montgomery

"The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner."
* Roseanne

"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
* Johnny Carson

"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
* Paul Rodriguez

"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that's the law
* Jerry Seinfeld

"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?"
* Warren

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait."
* A. Whitney Brown

"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'"
* Dave Barry

"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."
* George Carlin

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
* Lewis Grizzard

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children"
* Author Unknown

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There 's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for a life. - Andrew Brown
Venom XR is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-12-02, 05:24 AM
BSR Twin System (tm)
 
smciner1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: The TQE (tm) Plant.
Age: 41
Posts: 4,751
Very Funny!! ROFLMAO!!:MUha:

Falcon G.T. Club of Geelong Inc.
Deakin University Formula SAE Car PHANTOM ENGINEERING
LSUG (Leaf Spring Users Group) Twin System Engineer
Official BSR Website - www.bsrcorp.com
Poster of the 150,000th post!
BSR "DARTH HELMET (tm)"
Marcos Ambrose & SBR, 2003 & 2004 V8SUPERCAR Champions

****ADSLSUPERFASTP0RNPIPE (tm)****
smciner1 is offline  
post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-12-02, 06:43 PM
'Black Beauty'
 
XRMK2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Brisbane
Age: 46
Posts: 129
lmao....

Love the Seaworld one.. that cracks me up.. has anyone see the new Maccas adds where the guy is at the aquarium with the fillet of fish... funny as!!

cheers

Tony

If Looks Could Kill... My wife would have killed me when I bought the XR6T.

XR6-XR8 Club of QLD
XRMK2 is offline  
post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-13-02, 12:19 AM
BSR Twin System (tm)
 
smciner1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: The TQE (tm) Plant.
Age: 41
Posts: 4,751
Quotes

"Where there's a will, there's a relative!"

Falcon G.T. Club of Geelong Inc.
Deakin University Formula SAE Car PHANTOM ENGINEERING
LSUG (Leaf Spring Users Group) Twin System Engineer
Official BSR Website - www.bsrcorp.com
Poster of the 150,000th post!
BSR "DARTH HELMET (tm)"
Marcos Ambrose & SBR, 2003 & 2004 V8SUPERCAR Champions

****ADSLSUPERFASTP0RNPIPE (tm)****
smciner1 is offline  
post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-13-02, 01:15 AM
I want a turtle!
 
XR8chic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Sydney, NSW
Posts: 2,635
hehehe - some of them are very good!

FPV - Tickford Club of NSW
http://www.fpvclub.com
XR8chic is offline  
post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-13-02, 02:20 AM
RACE
 
RATT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Sydney
Age: 39
Posts: 2,950
My favourite:

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."
* Bob Ettinger

BF XR6 Turbo
RATT is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

  Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars > Fordforums Community > The Pub
Gear in this thread - Powered by O'Reilly Auto Parts


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Funny Apprentice tales MoNoXiDe The Pub 29 10-12-03 11:10 PM
Funny Picture Pearly The Pub 7 04-17-03 02:13 AM
funny family bussines BAXT The Pub 5 10-17-02 09:11 PM
Anti-Holden website...funny as!!!! ChuBBz The Pub 34 07-24-02 07:33 PM
Chicken Assault - True funny EA S The Pub 6 02-12-02 09:48 PM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome