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Old 02-07-2002, 04:10   #1 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Rocklyn
Posts: 7,750
Getting Even

This one is long but well worth the read .

Getting Even


One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you,
is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone
call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be
as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went
something like this:

(swallowing)
Me: Hello
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
Me: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?
Me: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
Me: OK, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that,
surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much
to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

Me: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
Me: May I ask who is calling please?
AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
Me: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron?
Me: Yes, is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: The phone company?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.
Me: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron.
Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for
calling.

When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express
yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested", but
this lady was persistent.

AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a
day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute
but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see that it was
time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.

Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir
that's right! 24 hours a day!
Me: 7 days a week?
AT&T: That's right.
Me: 365 days a year?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
Me: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one
at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual
check, can I get a cash advance?

AT&T: Excuse me?
Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about?
Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week and
$52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making
payment.

AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a
minute.
Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a
minute. Are you sure this is AT&T?
AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but......
Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10
cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind
of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in
the Enquirer you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on
me.

AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for.....
Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!
AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary.
Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?
AT&T: What?
Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold.

So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat
while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and
while I have a mouth full of food:

Supervisor: Mr. Byron?
Me: Yeth?
Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a
minute program.
Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?
Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.

I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to
suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.

Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so
that I could sign up for the plan.
Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was
helping you.
Me: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I needed to
end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite
voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing
up for our plan?
Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have
enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a
little brother...
AT&T: (click)
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Old 02-07-2002, 04:18   #2 (permalink)
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:MUha: I like that one
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Old 02-07-2002, 04:27   #3 (permalink)
 
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I probably should have put it in the main but I thought it might be a bit long. Might shift it if enough think it is worth it.
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Old 02-07-2002, 04:35   #4 (permalink)
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well we need something apart from porn here
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Old 02-07-2002, 05:00   #5 (permalink)
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LOL... thats a good one.
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Old 02-07-2002, 06:23   #6 (permalink)
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LMAO!!!

I usually act like a little kid and say "mummy and daddy arn't home.." I laugh so hard every time I hang up on them after.
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Old 02-07-2002, 17:29   #7 (permalink)
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lol - good one aus!!

One of my old bosses (Janine aka J9) used to work in police radio.

J9 told me about getting a call once from a small child saying there was a fire down the road. The kid was whispering "there is a fire down the road.. a house is on fire"

J9 asked where the kids paresnts where and the kid said they where outside watching.

She was about to get a firetruck on the way, when she heard a giggle in the background.

After she hung up, she waited 1 minute and rang the number back (Police radio see all the numbers of callers - even if it is a silent number) and an adult answered the phone.

She identified herself, and asked if there was a fire in the street.
The woman said no.
Then J9 told her that a small girl had just called from that number, and reported there was a fire..

the woman said "there is no fire, sorry for the trouble" and just as she was about to hang up, J9 heard the woman start screaming at the kid!! hehehehehe
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Old 02-07-2002, 22:57   #8 (permalink)
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Getting even is so sweet. :s3
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