A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Mom, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with John and he is so nice - even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion mom, I'm pregnant and John said that we will be very happy.
He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. John taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you
can get to know your grandchildren.
PS : Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the
neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse
things in life than my report card which is in my desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Never approach a Bull from the front,
A Horse from the rear
or a Fool from any direction
Billy Bob's pregnant sister had a car accident and went into a deep coma that lasted six months. She finally wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." The woman thinks to herself, 'Oh no, not my brother...he's an idiot.' Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," says the doctor. The new mother says, "Wow, that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise." Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" Denephew
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