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Old 05-27-2004, 04:12   #1 (permalink)
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Great Truths

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, ! but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . going all the way.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . going all the way.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
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Old 05-27-2004, 05:55   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Great Truths

Hahaha, could also add:

Great Truths Teenagers have learned.
1. Adults are nasty. They think they should be the only ones to enjoy their younger years... Thats why they keep stopping me binge drinking, taking drugs, having unprotected sex and all the other fun stuff.
2. Sex is overrated - at least it would be, if I could ever get laid
3. Your friends only last as long as your new pack of smokes.
4. While being drunk may dull pain, its not enough to stop the pain inflicted after I called a bunch of drunken 25yo football players 'poofs'.
5. Rocket fuel (adding a bit of every spirit in the house into a bottle) is a cheap and effective way to throw up for 4 hours straight.
6. Shopping centers and railway stations are cool. In fact, anywhere there might be old fogies, that think 40 of us little tossers in a group is scary, is a cool place to hang out.
7. Parents are here for these reasons only... To feed me, keep a house for me and buy my overpriced clothes.
8. I can't wait till I get my licence... burnouts and speeding are cool.
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Old 05-27-2004, 06:10   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Great Truths

damn teenagers!
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Old 05-27-2004, 06:53   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Great Truths

lol funny stuff, all true
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Old 05-27-2004, 07:30   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Great Truths

That's brilliant, Shane, love it.

Cheers... Tim
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Old 05-28-2004, 02:18   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Great Truths

2) When Your Mum is Mad at Your Dad, Dont Let Her Brush Your Hair.
What !!!! does your Mum still Brush your Hair ?????? wowow. Must Be Time to Lose the Pony Tail.
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Old 05-28-2004, 02:37   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Great Truths

Quote:
Originally Posted by WHISKIE BOY
2) When Your Mum is Mad at Your Dad, Dont Let Her Brush Your Hair.
What !!!! does your Mum still Brush your Hair ?????? wowow. Must Be Time to Lose the Pony Tail.
lol
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Old 05-28-2004, 02:53   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Great Truths

Quote:
Originally Posted by WHISKIE BOY
2) When Your Mum is Mad at Your Dad, Dont Let Her Brush Your Hair.
What !!!! does your Mum still Brush your Hair ?????? wowow. Must Be Time to Lose the Pony Tail.
Don't let her shave it either - and before you ask, it's not hard to shave a baldie, it is, however, hard to do a mohawk in the mirror.
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Old 05-28-2004, 03:46   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Great Truths

Quote:
Originally Posted by Back In Black
Don't let her shave it either
Might get an "F" in your hair
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Old 05-28-2004, 04:06   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Great Truths

8. I can't wait till I get my licence... burnouts and speeding are cool.

YUP!!!!
untill you get cought 44 kays over :( then its not fun anymore!....
but burnouts are still fun :)
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