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Old 07-28-2004, 19:29   #1 (permalink)
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The Guys Rules!!!!

The Guys' Rules:

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports and V8 supercars. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round Is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.




(DISCLAIMER - if from reading this information you have been offended - then it is obvious it was not intended for your viewing and as such no claims can be entered against the writer.) so there!!
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Last edited by philbie; 07-28-2004 at 20:23.
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Old 07-28-2004, 19:51   #2 (permalink)
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Re: The Guys Rules!!!!

Hehe very nice Phil
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Old 07-28-2004, 20:01   #3 (permalink)
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Re: The Guys Rules!!!!

Ladies, this is a SERIOUS post. These are not jokes!!!
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Old 07-28-2004, 20:09   #4 (permalink)
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Re: The Guys Rules!!!!

oh and also:

1. We don't need to justify the purchase of a V8 car - so don't even go there!

1. Men like gadgets - it's a bit like you girls and your shopping habits - just accept it.

1. The shed is our haven - it's importance level is the same as equal opportunity is to you.
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Old 07-28-2004, 20:16   #5 (permalink)
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Re: The Guys Rules!!!!

This list of rules won a woman, working for the multi billion dollar database company Oracle, over $100,000US after her boss emailed it around and she sued for discrimination.

You have been warned!

P.s. I love it!
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Old 07-28-2004, 20:16   #6 (permalink)
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Re: The Guys Rules!!!!

Take note girls we will not bend these rules at all
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Old 07-28-2004, 20:20   #7 (permalink)
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Re: The Guys Rules!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by xdc351
This list of rules won a woman, working for the multi billion dollar database company Oracle, over $100,000US after her boss emailed it around and she sued for discrimination.

You have been warned!

P.s. I love it!

hahahahaha - you are kidding??????


hmm - no your not.......
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Old 07-28-2004, 20:45   #8 (permalink)
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Re: The Guys Rules!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by philbie
hahahahaha - you are kidding??????


hmm - no your not.......
Wish I was... but no, I read about it a couple of weeks ago.

Just thought i'd warn everyone to be careful who they send it to at work.
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Old 07-28-2004, 21:26   #9 (permalink)
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Re: The Guys Rules!!!!

maybe it needs the disclaimer at the top rather than the bottom.. hehe

Great list too.
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Old 07-28-2004, 22:19   #10 (permalink)
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Re: The Guys Rules!!!!

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

I have trouble rembering what I said yesterday, let alone more than 7 days ago... My past words of when I may have been in a bad mood(tm) come back to haunt me - and I dont even remember saying them!
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