Just give me an excuse...
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: struct melbourne hallam;
Joe was a successful lawyer, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his career and love life
started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from
one specialist to another, he finally came across an old headache specialist doctor who solved the problem.
"The good news is I can cure your headaches ... The bad news is that
it'll require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes
your testicles to press up against the base of your spine and the
pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the
pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live
for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had
no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time
in 20 years, but he felt as though he was missing an important part of
himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a
different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need, a new
suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new
suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ...
size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!" was the reply ...
Joe tried on the suit. It fitted perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a
new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe and said," Let's see ... 34 sleeve and 16 and a half neck."
Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!" he replied again.
Joe tried on the shirt and it fitted perfectly.
As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes? Joe was on a roll and said,"Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see ... 9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure."
The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see ..size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you! I wear a size 32. I've worn size 32 since I was 18 years old "
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 32. Size 32
underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine
and give you a hell of a headache."
Truly the deepest kiss one can feel, and the one most sought after, is the one you will not survive....