After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over,
pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.
Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There
might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened
the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting
neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. naturally, the
guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend
then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his
ear. "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly,
the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
NIGHTMARE #2
The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to
think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and
found his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I
do?" "Oh-I know." He proceeded to get under the covers and go down
on his wife. Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure.
After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed.
Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his
teeth. When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife
there shaving her legs. He exclaimed, "What are you doing in
here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your
mother"
NIGHTMARE #3
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to
kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling
a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand
against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you
give me a blow job?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My
parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this
hour?" He asks grinning at her. "No, please. Can you imagine if we
get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all
sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I
love you so much?!?" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just
can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?" Out of the blue, the light on the
stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair
disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead
and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says
she can come down herself and do it But for God's sake tell him to
take his hand off the intercom!"
__________________
Member 2 of 3 of the "God I hate cheers and regards autosignatures" group
"We'll get 'em next year, Mark" - Jeff Grech at the creek, 2003.
the third one was a skit on the footy show (afl) was hilarious!
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AU2 S-pack Owner: Silhouette Black, XR6 Wheels, Tickford Sunroof, C2R rear bar, Checker Plate Floor Mats, Chrome Door Sills, Blue Backlite Dash, Blue Painted Brake Callipers, Advanced Extractors, Magnaflow High Flow Cat, 2.5" Stainless Steel Mandrel Bent Custom Exhaust, Genie Muffler. Sony Explode 50w x 4 deck, Kenwood 140w speakers (front and rear), Boss 1200 watt Amplifier, 12" Orion Sub in custom box. More To Come!!
The first one made me think, well that's the worst one down the next two can't be so bad. LOL, was I wrong! Third one was more funny than anything, but yeah I did see it on the AFL footy show last year.
__________________
O.F.R #12
1999 AU XR8
14.594 @ 94.40mph
152.2RWKW (APS dyno)
Switchable Shift Kit, K&N panel filter, Lukey straight thru mufflers, momo gear and steer,
DBA slotted rotors/Bendix ultimate pads (front), Pioneer MP3 head unit and BA XR carpet mats.
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