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Old 01-11-2005, 18:24   #1 (permalink)
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HOW TO: cheap add-ons make increased HP

First of all, you need a low mileage & mechanically sound engine to withstand the high performance requirements of todays drag racing engines.
High performance modifications come in all sorts of packages, from simple 'contents in a can' that are added to the fuel tank, to bolt-ons modifications that range from simple to expert on the mechanically inclined scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best of skilled labor.
I will start with the add-ons that come in a can and are simply added to the fuel tank.
Tops on the list are several addatives that add 'EPBAC"....excessive power beyond all control.
The current front-runners, listed as most effective are Dr. Plumage exhaust lube, EXCO's exhaust accelerator, and HSE's Header Science Exhaust Doctor.
Dr. Plumage exhaust lube works fairly well in aiding the exhaust gases exit of the heads and manifolds and seems to aide in passing the exhaust gases through the catalytic converter with little or no friction, and has been rated by the 'NMCDRA' (National Mod in a Can Drag Racers Association) as a #1 top fuel mod.
EXCO's exhaust accelerator contains an old family secret ingredient that not only lubricates the exhaust gases throughout the system, but actually speeds it up and causes a vacuum that actually draws more clean air into the induction system, thereby enhancing overall performance via forced induction.
HSE's Header Science Exhaust Doctor contains ploy-oly-silicone-diethylene compounds that make your exhaust gases so slippery that they literally slide out of the manifolds and fly past the catylitic converter. The effect is much like EXCO's exhaust accelerator which aides in the induction process and enhances the overall performance and economy of today's internal combustion engines.
The next topic we will look at involve the ambient temperature of the fuel and air itself.
There are currently 2 highly recommended products available, "Cold as ICE" and "Ice Cold".
Cold as Ice is manufactured by the world renowned "OIL" corporation. Their logo can be found on almost any dipstick as "OIL".
"Cold as Ice" is available in 4,8 &12 Oz. cans and is easily added to your fuel tank. The formula is indeed mystifying, but guarantees your fuel to be a lower temperature than you engine, thereby enhancing the combustion process.
"Ice Cold" is manufactured by the world renowned company called "coolant only". Their logo can be found on most radiator caps and coolant overflow lids.
The company boasts their product to be exceptional in the refridgeration of certain fuels used for firing of the internal combustion engine. They claim that their product can reduce the ambient temperature of the fuel being burned by a factor of as much as -1.
While "Ice Cold" is a truly exceptional product, "Cold as Ice" has clearly taken the market on the induced fuel refridgeration science, and has been given the award of the year award from the 'NMCDRA' (National Mod in a Can Drag Racers Association).
The next topic here will be the examination of bolt-on mods.
There are currently 2 highly sought after bolt-on mods and the most highly demanded is the "nebukanezzer valve" mod which enhances the compression ratio by whatever amount is in your mind. It mainly consists of a small, user friendly keyboard, which allows the driver to adjust the compression ratio to a maximum of 18.5:1. This is an excellent modification for the low cost of $69.95, which can be split into payments of $39.95 per month for a total of 6 months, which is quite a saving for those of us who don't currently have $69.95.
The other highly requested mod is the "k-nibbleing pin" mod. It is easily installed using only a pry-bar and/or a hammer. This mod adds about -150 hp using only the pry bar. The enhanced version of this mod can easily add -300 HP by merely using a hammer for the install. It's simplicity is a key factor in the way it deletes any currently functioning engine controls and renders the engine totally useless.
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Old 01-11-2005, 18:27   #2 (permalink)
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Re: HOW TO: cheap add-ons make increased HP

mkay...

Dont know what to say to this.
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Old 01-11-2005, 18:57   #3 (permalink)
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Re: HOW TO: cheap add-ons make increased HP

Don't say anything, friend, until you've seen the awesome power of Dr. Horsepower super fuel addative.
If you want extra HP, I am the MAN to see. I have a revolutionary new product that not only adds HP to your internal combustion engine, but multiplies your current HP by ten fold.
Yes, folks, I said multiplies by TEN FOLD.
I have a revolutionary new product that increases your current HP by ten fold and it's sooo simple that a 5 year old child could do it.
Yes, folks, I said a 5 year old child could do it.
My revolutionary new product can increase your current HP by ten fold and it's so easy a child can do it.
Simply add the contents of a can of Doctor horsepower to your fuel tank and away you go.
Yes, folks, I said away you go.
No fancy label on this product, just simple raw horsepower in a can.
My revolutionary new product can increase your current horsepower by at least ten fold.
Just $69.95 per can.
Or $39.95 per month for 6 months.
I'm tellin' ya folks, at a mere $39.95 a month for 6 short months, you, yes you, can have the added performance you've always wanted, at a fraction of the original cost of $69.95.
Operators are standing by to take your order....call now, 1-800-KICKASS
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Old 01-11-2005, 19:06   #4 (permalink)
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Re: HOW TO: cheap add-ons make increased HP

Is this anything like the blinker fluid enhancements?

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Old 01-11-2005, 19:11   #5 (permalink)
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Re: HOW TO: cheap add-ons make increased HP

Actually, blinker fliud enhancements can hamper your performance by as much as two ot thirty percent. You should try to avoid blinker fluid enhancements whenever possible and go with the OEM blinker fluids as they contain far more silicon-dioxydrene-methyle-polymeres, which contribute to the anti-frictional aspects of the blinker lenses.
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Old 01-11-2005, 20:24   #6 (permalink)
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Re: HOW TO: cheap add-ons make increased HP

I'm interested... but only if it can slice and dice carrots and onions in seconds and includes a free set of steak knives.
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Old 01-11-2005, 21:25   #7 (permalink)
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Re: HOW TO: cheap add-ons make increased HP

Quote:
Originally Posted by fairmont1998
I'm interested... but only if it can slice and dice carrots and onions in seconds and includes a free set of steak knives.
Not only does this revolutionary new product increase your horsepower, but it DOES come with the pop-o-matic french fry chopper, carrot cuber, and mellon-baller.
But wait! that's not all,
Also included is the electro-sux mini-vac to sweep up those pesky crumbs from your car seats. It stores away in your ashtray and runs off the cigar lighter outlet. It can pick up stubborn oil stains from your seat covers and gives you a good header if you like.
AND, that's not all, if you call within the next 2 minutes, we'll also include the handy nuclear bug zapper, this is no ordinary bug zapper, folks, it zaps bugs in another country. Say there's a fly in China that's giving you the blues...well now you can zap that fly from the privacy of your own mustang, while you're going down a road in Australia. It's a revolutionary new product and it's your's free if you call now and order the deluxe horseshit package from the house of horsepower.
Operators are standing by.... call today and get your free pop-o-matic veggie chopper, electro-sux mini vac, and nuclear bug zapper with every order.
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