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Old 12-12-2004, 17:30   #1 (permalink)
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Tongue How to make the best Christmas Cake.

Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 bottle Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the vodka to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the vodka again.
To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK.

Try another cup .... just in case

Turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick fruit off floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pryit loose with a sdrewscriver.

Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a s#@*.

Check the vodka.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven and fiss in the pridge.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the cat.

Fall into bed.

Cherry Mistmas!




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Old 12-12-2004, 17:35   #2 (permalink)
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Re: How to make the best Christmas Cake.

ohh didn' see that one comming
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Old 12-12-2004, 21:25   #3 (permalink)
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Re: How to make the best Christmas Cake.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvinmyEB
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Can I skip that step, sounds like something I'd rather avoid doing, is at all possible. Will the results stil be the same if I skip this step?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvinmyEB
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Hmm, so many things I could say to that... */me changes last name to Turner *
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Old 12-12-2004, 21:40   #4 (permalink)
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Re: How to make the best Christmas Cake.

does it work the same with a bottle of Rum instead???
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Old 12-12-2004, 23:19   #5 (permalink)
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Re: How to make the best Christmas Cake.

lol nice one
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Old 12-12-2004, 23:32   #6 (permalink)
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Re: How to make the best Christmas Cake.

Hahaha. I reckon just dont get any of the ingredients in the first place... just get the vodka and drink it..... My kinda Christmas cake! A clear, liquid alcoholic one!
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Old 12-12-2004, 23:35   #7 (permalink)
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Re: How to make the best Christmas Cake.

What about rum??? Can I use rum???
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Old 12-13-2004, 00:01   #8 (permalink)
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Re: How to make the best Christmas Cake.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The MaDDeSTMaN
Can I skip that step, sounds like something I'd rather avoid doing, is at all possible. Will the results stil be the same if I skip this step?

Hmm, so many things I could say to that... */me changes last name to Turner *
/me is never going to watch TURNER AND HOOCH (tm) again!

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Old 12-13-2004, 01:40   #9 (permalink)
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Re: How to make the best Christmas Cake.

Quote:
Originally Posted by masters24
What about rum??? Can I use rum???
I sure hope you can, rum is a much better alternative
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Old 12-13-2004, 01:53   #10 (permalink)
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Re: How to make the best Christmas Cake.

hahaha

now for my type of christmas cake:

1. go to coles/safeway/woolworths

2. pick up a mud cake

3. pay for it

4. if youre feeling energetic, write "merry christmas" on it with a stick

5. eat it - ALL OF IT

6. feel bloated but damn it was good

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