Australian Ford Member
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Melbourne, Australia
I just want to be held - funny
I never have quite figured out why the sexual
urges of men & women differ so much. I never
have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing.
And I never have figured out why men think with
their head and women with their heart. Also, I
never have figured out how sexual desire gets
thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the
words, "I do."
One evening last week, my wife and I were
getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat
up, and she then says, "I don't feel like it, I just
want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT?!"
So she says the words that I and every other
husband on the planet dreads. She explains that
I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as
I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I
finally realized that nothing is going to happen
that night, so I went to sleep.
The very next day we went shopping at a big,
unnamed department store...
I walked around while she tried on three very
expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take, so I told her to take all three of them.
She then tells me that she wants matching
shoes worth $200 each to which I say, "OK." And
then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a
set of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ...she was
so excited! She must have thought that I was one
wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she
cared. I think she was testing me when she asked
for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her
that it was OK.
She was almost sexually excited from all of
this and you should have seen her face when she
said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
"No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."
You should have seen her face ... it went
completely blank. I then said, "Really honey! I just
want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." Just when
she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, "You must not be in tune with my financial
needs as a Man."
I figure that I might be having sex again
sometime during the Spring thaw of 2003.