From the State where drinking and driving is considered a sport, comes a
true story from Texas.
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood bar.
Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar
that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a
few minutes with the officer quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different
vehicles, the man managed to find his own car which he fell into.
He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar
and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry
night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn and then
switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches,
a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as
left in their vehicles.
At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down
the street. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now
started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the
man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the
breathalyzer indicated no evidence of man having consumed alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to
Police station this breathalyzer equipment must be broken." "I doubt it,"
said the man, "I haven't been drinking at all."
The officer glared at the man and said "I watched you get into your car.
It's obvious that you are under the influence!"
"Oh, that" said the man, "Well, tonight I'm the designated decoy."
"I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always."