A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich.
The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck".
"I see your eyes are working", replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.
"I see your ears are working", says the duck, "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?". "I'm working on the building site across the road", explains the duck.
Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves. This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him,
"You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!".
"Sounds marvellous", says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call".
So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the landlord says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!".
"Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?".
"At the circus", says the landlord.
"The circus?", the duck enquires.
"That's right", replies the landlord.
"The circus?. That place with the big tent?. With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle", asks the duck.
"That's right!", says the landlord.
The duck looks confused, "What the f**k would they want with a plasterer?"
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Sept 03 BA XR6 Turbo, Silhouette, T5, APS Unichip, BPT short shifter & Momo bits, FPV pedals, Custom Leather, 18" Wheels, PBR sports calipers, Window Tint, Typhoon CAI, Side stripes.
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Off-white EL Series II Falcon GLi Sapphire (4.0L Slothmatic™) with K&N Filtercharger, Tickford Sports Suspension, DBA Longlife Gold (front), DBA Longlife Slotted (rear) and Bendix Ultimates all round. Driven by The Slothman™.
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'92 NC Ghia, 302w 123.9kw at the wheels, dead stock. Peacock Green. Lots of woodgrain and velour
Tint, Mags (17x8 ROH RT's 235/45), Sunroof, Alarm/Immobliser, GM-X624 Amp, DEH-P8250 H/U, Alpine 2x6 1/4" rear, 6"splits in doors, 1" tweeters in dash.
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you."
"Hey, it compiles! Lets sell it" - What Microsoft probably says about all its products.
If what i'm saying isn't making any sense, im not drunk, im just like this all the time..............ok so maybe im drunk, but thats beside the point...
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